Naruto: Mountain Dew Chronicles
by KrowY
Summary: CRACKFIC A collection of stories combining to of my many obsessions. Naruto and Mountain Dew.
1. Mt Dew Obsessed Fangirl

**Me: YAY!! Crack fic!!**

**Naruto: So why are you writing this?**

**Me: I get bored and I'm addicted to Mountain Dew, but my mom won't let me have it as much as I'd like to.**

**Naruto: Why Mountain Dew?**

**Me: Because it has the most caffeine and sugar and it kicks in really really really fast. Now say the disclaimer.**

**Naruto: Akuma owns nothing.**

**Me: And if I did I'd be drinking Mountain Dew 24-7. Nothing would stop me MWAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!**

It was an ordinary day at Akatsuki, except it wasn't an ordinary day. Some random un-named fangirl was there. She was running around looking for some thing. Meanwhile Kisame was a very happy little fishy. Because you see he had been saving something very special something that the base had run out of for a week. Why they ran out you ask? Simple, everyone was addicted to it but everyone was too lazy to go out and get more. And that thing was…long dramatic pause…pause so long the moment is gone…I should probably get on with it…okay here it comes…**MOUNTAIN DEW**. Yes they ran out of Mountain Dew. Sure they had the Cocoa-Cola version, Mello Yellow, but it wasn't as good. If you compare them Mountain Dew is way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way (way times 12345678900987654321) **WAY **better. Any way on with the story.

Kisame lifted he bottle of Mountain Dew above his head and shouted "YAY!! I have the last Mountain Dew!!" And then his door fell. The random un-named fangirl kicked it open.

She said, "Give it!!"

Kisame looked at her with an adorable little confused chibi fishy face, "Give what?"

The random un-named fangirl looked at him with fire in her eyes "The Mountain Dew!! Now give it!!"

"No never!! I've been saving this for a week!!"

"But you guys ran out a week ago…"

"Well…"

Flash Back

_Kisame looked around the kitchen because he was in the mood for a Mountain Dew. He looked in the fridge and gasped. "Gaspeth there are only two left! I shall drink one and take the other so when we run out I'll be able to drink it!!" So Kisame drank a bottle and took the other one and put it into his mini-fridge._

End Flash Back

The random un-named fangirl looked at him and said "…you!! You're the reason you guys are out!! Now gimme!!"

"No never!!" Kisame yelled then he started running around the room in tiny little circles, got dizzy, and fell over. The random un-named fangirl started beating him up into a pulp (even though he was already on the ground) just because it looked fun. And it was.

"YAY!!" The random un-named fangirl shouted and she hugged the Mountain Dew. And now many of you are probably wonder who's the guy that the random un-named fangirl is a fangirl for? Well, you'll see, it's gonna be pretty obvious.

Itachi came by and he saw the random un-named fangirl hugging the Mountain Dew. He had a plan. He walked towards her and she kept backing up. Soon her back was against a wall the appeared randomly. Their faces were only a couple of inches apart. He stared at her with such intensity that you'd think she would've fainted. She turned red and Itachi grabbed the Mountain Dew, but she noticed what he was doing, kicked him in the shin and ran away laughing.

Hahah you probably thought she was an Itachi fangirl didn't you? Any way, the random un-named fangirl ran and bumped into Sasori (he was in his normal out of the scorpion puppet). She fell to the ground and saw him. She turned bright red. Sasori helped her up and pulled her in close. He whispered into her ear "You should be careful…you could get hurt…" and then he disappeared.

The random un-named fangirl was bright red, red as a tomato covered in ketchup and, well you get the picture. She looked down at her now empty hands. Then she looked up at where Sasori was previously standing. Then she looked down then up then down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down. And repeats this for about five more minutes.

Meanwhile Sasori was in his room and drank the whole bottle (I know it makes no sense becuse he's a puppet…but I don't care.). Then his door was kicked down by the random un-named fangirl. She shouted "Give it back you damned puppet boy!!"

All he said was "You have to pay for the door…you know that right? And here…" He threw the now empty Mountain Dew bottle at her.

The random un-named fangirl looked at the empty bottle and cried. She cried so much that there was at least three-feet of tears in the room…don't ask me how they stayed…

"You know…you could go out and buy more. You're going to have to leave eventually."

The random un-named fangirl suddenly became hyperactive and latched onto Sasori. She said "But Sasori-sama, I'm going to stay here with you!!"

"Shit…damned fangirls…"

END

**Me: Well, that's the first of many to come.**

**Naruto: Why doesn't the random un-named fangirl have a name?**

**Me: Because she's a random un-named fangirl…and besides I couldn't come up with one.**

**Naruto: That isn't a good reason.**

**Me: Like I care.**

**Naruto: Jerk.**


	2. Itachi and MD part 1

**Me: Yay!! I love this fic. **

**Itachi: Are you sure you should be writing this? You just turned another humor fic into angst… **

**Me: I'm trying to make a humor/angst fic… **

**Itachi: You failed… **

**Me: Meanie!! It was just the first chapter…now say the disclaimer. **

**Itachi Akuma owns nothing… **

Itachi was bored. He was sitting all bored like. He was so bored he played with a speck of dust that he named Bob…I don't know why he chose Bob…maybe he just isn't very creative…oh well.

So Itachi was very bored. "Sigh…I'm so bored…" Thank you Itachi, but I just said that. "Sorry…" Yes that's right. He was so bored that he started having a conversation with the authoress, not much of a conversation, but it's pretty good considering its Itachi…

Anyway, Itachi was bored and was sitting in the middle of some random room. Then something caught his eye. It was a bottle. But not just any bottle, a translucent bottle. But not just any translucent bottle, a green translucent bottle. But not just any green translucent bottle, a – "Get on with it!! Damned authoress…" Fine, jerk. It was a Mountain Dew bottle!!! Yes Mountain Dew the ultimate drink for sugary, caffiney, hyper goodness!!!! Mwahahahhahaahhhahahahahahahhahahahahhaahhahahaahhahhahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway Itachi picked up the bottle and opened it and took a little tiny microscopic sip. Then Kisame walked in. "No Itachi no!!!! Crap I'm too late…tell me Itachi. How much did you drink???" Kisame said over dramatizing everything.

"Just a sip…why?"

"Don't tell me you forgot what happened last time did you?"

"Oh yeah…"

Flash Back

_Itachi had a little tiny sip of Mountain Dew. But that was enough to make him…SUGAR HIGH!!!!! He pretty much annoyed him to death so they kicked him out of the base till it wore off. He was gone for about 8 hours. _

End of Flash Back

"Don't worry Kisame. That was before when I was foolish and naïve. It won't happen again…"

"But it was only 2 weeks ago."

"…I'm bored. I'm gonna drink the rest of this." Itachi drank the rest of the Mountain Dew.

And then Kisame (over dramatically) moved in slow motion, and shouted "NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLOLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Kisame reached for the bottle (still in slow motion) but Itachi, not in slow motion moved to the side and Kisame fell. He stayed on the ground making it more over dramatic. Itachi just looked at him all bored like. Then he decided to go see what Deidara was doing. But walking would be boring, so he…skipped!!! But just skipping would be boring so while he skipped he sang, "LALALALALA. I'm a little teapot, short and stout, hear is my handle here is my spout. When you tip me oooooovvvvvvvvveeeeeeerrrrr hear my shout. Tip me over and POUR ME OOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The song lasted long enough to get to Deidara's room. Itachi was about to open the door, but just going in would be boring. So, Itachi banged the door open and narrowed his eyes.

Deidara turned around to see an angry looking Itachi. Itachi went up to him and grabbed him by the collar and said "Say yes…"

"Y-yes to what?"

"Just say it!!"

"…y-y-yes?"

"YAY!!! I get to make clay stuff with you!!" Itachi shouted all chibi like.

"…huh?" Deidara said tilting his head to the side.

Itachi ignored him and looked at a big pile of clay. "Yay!! Clay!!" He started reaching for the clay, but Deidara slapped his hand away. Itachi started reaching for the clay again, and Deidara slapped his hand away, again. This went on for about five minutes. Then finally Itachi turned his head very slowly, kinda like those scary movies, and started getting Mangekyo Sharingan ready. Deidara started to get scared and grabbed Itachi's hand and stuck it into the clay. "Yay!! Squishy clay!!" Itachi said with joy. Deidara sighed with relief. Itachi started making little clay animals (You hardly tell what they are.). "Deidara, can you blow this up?" Itachi asked Deidara holding up a …I think it was a bird…I can't tell.

"Uhhh...okay…" Deidara said confused. He started making seals, but he didn't notice that Itachi had stuck the bird thing into a big pile of clay. And then…

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Clay went flying everywhere. Itachi and Deidara were completely covered in clay. "I-Itachi…" Deidara said angrily. He looked at where Itachi had been, but he was gone now.

Itachi ran out of Deidara's room covered in clay laughing. Now he was bored again. Oh well, might as well bother the rest of the Akatsuki members. Itachi played chainsaw massacre with Sasori's puppets, cut off Hidan's head, stole Tobi's mask, undid Kakuzu's stitches, lit Zetsu on fire, and stole the leader's bridge piercings. Soon everyone had enough and threw him out of the base…again…

Itachi looked at the base with sad puppy dog eyes, sad about being thrown out by hid 'friends'. But that only lasted for like 5 seconds…then he decided to go to Konoha to check on his little brother…and for more Mountain Dew. Why you ask? Because the psychotic authoress says so.

Anyway he went into the Konoha without any problem, because you see, it was the guard's naptime, which he was being deprived of, and couldn't fall asleep…so Itachi 'helped' him…heh heh heh…

He gave him warm milk and cookies and read him a bedtime story…YAY cookies!!!

To be continued…

**Me: I am soooo evil… **

**Itachi: …you're dead… **

**Me: …why? **

**Itachi: Do you have ANY idea how OOC you made me?! **

**Me: …uh…it's called a crackfic? **

**Itachi: …if write this hoe do you write angst stuff?! **

**Me: I dunno…my brother calls me bipolar… **

**Itachi: … **


	3. Itachi and MD Part 2

**Me: Part 2!!!!**

**Itachi: Why me?**

**Me: Cause it's funniest to see you sugar high…now say the disclaimer**

**Itachi: …Akuma owns nothing…**

So Itachi put the guard to bed and skipped into the village. Then he started sing, "Lalalalala, A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S U VW X Y and Z. Now me no me LMNOPs next won't you sing with I." Notice he didn't screw up the alphabet part…anyway. When he stopped singing he reached his destination with perfect timing. Itachi walked up to the front door of his former home.

Meanwhile, inside his former home, a certain Uchiha, why am I saying a certain Uchiha? Everyone knows it's Sasuke. Anyway Sasuke was sitting in the middle of some random empty room in his house doing what he usually does in his spare time, thinking about how to kill Itachi. "If only he were here right now…then I could kill him with the new weapon I got…" Sasuke said to himself pulling out a big huge missile launcher out of no where. "But I guess getting this piece of junk was a waste…oh well" Sasuke threw the missile launcher on the ground and smashed it into a million pieces.

"Aaaaahhhhhh!!" Itachi screamed falling from the ceiling.

"What the? How'd you get here?"

"Hole." Itachi said pointing to a hole in the roof.

"I knew I should have gotten that fixed."

"God Sasuke ever since I left you've been letting this place fall apart."

"What makes you say that?"

"There's a big hole right behind you."

"…why are you here?"

Itachi looked at Sasuke dramatically with his Sharingan. It made the atmosphere unbelievably intense. "Well little brother, theirs is something that I have fallen behind in, and I must catch up…" Itachi walked up to Sasuke and grabbed him by the shirt and pinned him to the wall with one hand. And Itachi lifted his other hand and……………………………………………………………..poked Sasuke's forehead. It was really hard.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"Well Sasuke, it been like I dunno 5 years. You don't think I'll let you forget the stingy wrath of forehead pokes did you? But they don't hurt that much…God you're pathetic!" And Itachi said all of this while leaning against Sasuke crushing him to the wall. And he said this very quickly, all in one breathe.

"Uh…Itachi, did you have any Mountain Dew?"

"Yes, how did you know?"

"Don't you remember why Mom and Dad didn't let you have anymore?"

Oh yeah, now I remember!"

_Flashback_

_A twelve year old Itachi had just won a Mountain Dew drinking contest by successfully drinking 20 bottles in 5 minutes. He won 10 bucks…anyway, he then went home to do what he was normally supposed to do, watch his little brother while his parents were away. He had abandoned that duty to go hang out with his friends. When he came home he noticed Sasuke was unconscious. He had the cord for a PS2 controller wrapped around his neck._

_Itachi gasped, "OMGOMGOMG!!! I can't believe it, this horrible! The little brat messed around with my PS2!!! I better make sure he's alive so I can kill him." Itachi got Sasuke out of the entanglement, and Sasuke was still unconscious. Itachi thought to himself, "Doesn't lack of oxygen kill your brain cells or something? Oh well, probably didn't have any in the first place…"_

_Itachi just left Sasuke lying there and then started playing Kingdom Hearts. His parents came just as finished killing Iago, while laughing like a maniac. Itachi's mom started saying "Oh Itachi, you must have played with Sasuke so much. He's all worn out now!"_

_Itachi ignored his mother and continued shouting, "Die you stupid bird DIE!!! MMMMMMMMMMMMWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"_

_His dad walked into the room sweat dropping. "Itachi did you have Mountain Dew?"_

"_Yes. Why?"_

"_As the heir to the Uchiha clan you must uphold a strict professional behavior no matter where you-"_

"_Are, and I will never be allowed to express emotion. And I have to be strongest and blah blah blah. What's you're point?"_

"_No more Mountain Dew…"_

"_What? NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLOLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLOSEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHISDADISMEANOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"_

_And ever since then Itachi has always been moody and angsty. And he blamed it on Shisui because it was his idea to have a Mountain Dew drinking contest…_

_End of Flashback_

Sasuke looked at his brother, "…I don't remember you not being angsty or moody…"

"That's because you lost a lot of brain cells…and come to think of it you got angsty when you woke up..."

"…I guess that explains something…I just got a Wii…so you wanna play while you're still sugar high?"

"Yeah sure…but it'll be boring with just us, so call some of you're friends too…"

"Sure why not…but you kinda have to let go of me…"

"Oh sure." But Itachi didn't let go for about 30 minutes. And when he finally did he called over Naruto and Gaara.

When they Naruto and Gaara came and they brought ton and tons and tons of Mountain Dew!!!! Sasuke went to the fridge and pulled out a purple Fanta instead. Everyone else looked at him like he was some kind of freak. Then they started playing the Wii. The first game they played was Smash Bros Brawl, I know it hasn't come out yet, but I couldn't care less…

It was the green team against blue. Sasuke was on blue and he was triple teamed by the already sugar high Mountain Dew addicts. He was slaughtered. Then it happened over and over and over and over again and again and again. Then Sasuke got fed up with it and put in a Gamecube game, they played…Naruto: Gekitou Ninja Taisen 3. They were themselves in the game. And they still triple teamed Sasuke. Then Sasuke got fed up again and put in another Wii game, Naruto Shippūden: Gekitou Ninja Taisen EX, and again they were themselves, and again they tripl teamed Sasuke. And then Sasuke again got fed upwith it and yelled "WHY THE HELL ARE YOU GUY ALWAYS TRIPLE TEAMING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Well, foolish little brother…I have no idea…"

"Yeah same here." Naruto said.

"I have no clue either…"

Sasuke was getting very angry now. "Admit it you guys are triple teaming me because I don't like Mountain Dew!!"

Everything got quiet. "How long have we been here?" Gaara asked.

"About a week…don't change the subject!" Sasuke said.

"Why don't you like Mountain Dew anyway?" Naruto asked.

"Mountain Dew is the reason why Itachi killed the clan…"

"Actually…it's true. I couldn't take a whole year without Mountain Dew and I cracked…" Itachi said, obviously still sugar high.

Sasuke went on an angst rant ue lack of sleep, they stayed up nonstop for the whole week, and Gaara and Naruto decided to go crazy and try to get Sasuke to drink Mountain Dew, and put him down or a nap. And while all that went on Itachi drank even ore Mountain Dew and played Twilight Princess.

Meanwhile at Akatsuki, they were beginning to wonder why Itachi hadn't come back. So the leader sent Kisame to figure it out.

After a while Kisame reporte to the leader. "He's been having more Mountain Dew nonstop. And he's playing the Wii with his brother, the Kyuubi, and Shukaku."

"What?"

"I know, he has two ofour targets right there and all he's doing is-"

"No, screw the stupid Biju, I've trying to get a Wii for like ever!! Damned lucky son of a bitch…" Then Akatsuki leader went off to his room to sulk in a corner and pitty himself.

Itachi didn't come back for another 2 weeks. Gaara and Naruto were still sugar high. And Sasuke was still crazy…

**End**

**Me: I wish I had a Wii…**

**Itachi: You don't have a Wii? But how do you knowabout the Naruto game for the Wii? It hasn't even come out in Japan yet…**

**Me: Wikipedia…**


	4. Party Day 1

**Me: YAY!! Naruto: Shippuden is coming out!**

**Naruto: So…**

**Me: It means that the two years of filler episodes are over and Part II is gonna start!!**

**Naruto: I know that, but what does that have to do with this fic?**

**Me: Simple…we're gonna have a party to kick it off!! Woot!!!**

**Naruto: Sweet!! Party!!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, but I don't care.**

"Cheers to the end of fillers!" Akuma (me) says holding up a bottle of Mountain Dew.

"Cheers!" The Naruto cast says tapping their Mountain Dews together.

"I have a question…" Sasuke said. "If part two is what's happening in the manga wouldn't it be good just to read it? And wouldn't it be kinda pointless to watch the anime if you know what's gonna happen?"

"…what's the fun of black and white, no sound, and no only 10 minutes to read a chapter?" Akuma said.

"…you just like to make fun of me don't you…"

"Yup…now on with the party!!"

Everyone started cheering and drank Mountain Dew, surprisingly there were no fights even all members of Akatsuki were there…they were all just drinking and getting along with ANBU. But we learned something…caffeine has the same effect as sake on Lee…RUN!!

Lee started going on a rampage and it took everyone to stop him. Tears flowed out of Gai's eyes, "Oh sorrow! What is youth without being able to enjoy the pleasures of Mountain Dew!! I can only blame myself…I'm sorry Llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Everyone just looked at Gai when they finished tying a now unconscious Lee and put him into some random closet. "I shoulda figured it was a bad idea…" Tsunade said to herself.

"What was a bad idea?" Neji asked.

"I put a little sake into a few bottles of Mountain Dew…"

**O.o** Some how everyone heard what she said over the very loud booming music. Everyone stared at her as she laughed nervously. But then they just grabbed more Mountain Dew. Tsunade shrugged it off and went to drink something.

Haku and Zabuza stood in a corner why they were there and how they were alive. But little did they know, they targets for the most deadly thing in the world…fangirls. Bum bum bum!!!!!! They started walking towards the center of the room when Haku was grabbed from behind. Zabuza started looking around frantically looking for the "attacker".

Meanwhile Haku was taken to some random room. "Haku-chyan!!" A fangirl (fangirl 1) squealed latching onto him. Haku just stood there looking confused.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!! He's so cute when he's confused!!!" another fangirl (fangirl 2) said.

"Aaaaaaaawwwwwww!! Haku-cyan! I love you!!!!!!" another fangirl (fangirl 3) said also latching on to Haku.

"Hey! Get off of him bitch! He's mine!!" Fangirl 1 yelled at Fangirl 2.

"What the hell are you talking about? He's mine!" Fangirl 2 yelled back.

"Wait, guys. Isn't more important to think of what Haku wants, cause we all love him so we need to think of his happiness!" Fangirl 3 said dramatically. "…aw who the hell am I kidding…he's mine!!!!!!!!" She dove at the other two girls and soon a very violent catfight started. Haku just stood there watching.

Meanwhile, at the main part of the party, Konkuro ran around frantically looking for someone to help him in the dire situation he was in, but he couldn't find anyone so he just went to Naruto. "Naruto, Gaara's been pandanapped!!

"Oh no! Hey wait, don't you mean kidnapped?"

"No, pandanapped!" Naruto looked at him confused. "Look at my thought bubble!" Konkuro said pointing up at a thought bubble.

_A chibi Gaara and a chibi Konkuro were standing in the middle of the party. The chibi Konkuro jumped up into the air throwing confetti into the air. The chibi Gaara just looked at him. They both looked at each other and …ed. Then a light bulb appeared over chibi Konkuro's head. He went and got a Mountain Dew and made chibi Gaara drink it, how he did still remains a mystery, and chibi Gaara smiled, it was really creepy one that he makes when he's about to kill someone. Chibi Konkuro looked and him and runaway screaming, "Nyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!"_

_Chibi Gaara still had that smile and walked behind a random curtain that appeared out of no where. When he came out, he was chibi Panda Gaara! Yay, fear his mighty chibi pandaness! He walked up to chibi Konkuro and threw his hands into the air. Chibi Konkuro smiled and the chibi sugar-high Sand Brothers ran around the room like the chibi sugar-high maniacs they are! Then chibi Panda Gaara fell and was dragged away screaming. And chibi Konkuro kept running around completely clueless to his little brother's pandanapping._

"Hmmm I never noticed that last part…" Konkuro said when the thought bubble disappeared.

"…how'd you get that thought bubble to appear?" Naruto asked curiously.

"I don't know…" Konkuro answered.

Meanwhile, Panda Gaara stood in the middle of another random room smiling. He was surrounded by fangirls. "He's so cute!!!!!!!" Fangirl 4 squealed.

"Gaa-chan!!" Fangirl 5 squealed glomping Panda Gaara.

Panda Gaara kept smiling. Then he was glomped by several other fangirls. Soon the caffeine and sugar wore of. Panda Gaara surrounded himself in sand. When the sand when away Panda Gaara became Gaara again. He walked away from the fangirls and left the room. "Damn it…now we need to find a way to get trough the sand…" Fangirl 5 said.

Back with Haku, it bad been at least 30 minutes since the girls started fighting. And they still haven't stopped. Haku looked down and noticed he wasn't tied up. He walked of the room and found Zabuza.

"Haku, there you are. What happened?" Zabuza asked.

On the other side of the room Konkuro saw Gaara, "What happened?" He asked.

In unison both Haku and Gaara said, "…fangirls…"

Somehow everyone in the room heard them. All the guys started screaming, "FANGIRLS???????!!!!!!!!!!!!?!?!?! We're all gonna die!!"

The guys went crazy, and Akuma shouted "SHUT UP!!!!!!" everyone stared at her, "Geeze…I'm a fangirl and I haven't done anything."

"You wrote what to them up there!"

"…uh…nobodies leaving!"

"You can't tell us what to do!"

"Actually I can…" Akuma brought out a laptop out of nowhere and typed, and for some unknown reason they stayed. And that's exactly what happened. Everyone started partying again.

**Me: Yay!**

**Naruto: Why are you posting it now? Shippuden doesn't come out til Friday the 16th and it's Sunday…**

**Me: It's gonna be a 6 day party…oh and if anyone wants to join, tell me what you want to do. And if you're a fangirl/boy, tell me who. And please keep in mind that this fic is rated teen not mature.**

**Naruto: Evil…**


	5. Party Day 2

**Me: Day 2!**

**Sasuke: What are you up to now?**

**Me: Some friends from school and some readers are joining us today…**

**Sasuke: Shit, more fangirls.**

**Me: Just say the disclaimer.**

**Sasuke: Akuma owns nothing…**

The party continues, fueled with Mountain Dew! The sugar high party goers are all starting to loose control of all the sugary goodness. Grahamsmoon was going around looking for a certain someone. And she found him, "Deidara!" she squealed making him jump. "Can I talk to you in private?" she asked innocently.

"Careful Deidara…she's a fangirl…" Sasori said.

"But I wanted to talk to you about how you're right about art being a bang…" she said.

"I'd be happy to talk to you!" Deidara said with a smile.

They went into a random room with paint drums inside. "Huh? What are those for?" He asked.

Grahamsmoon picked one up and splashed Deidara with red paint. "Mwahahahhahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!! He's mine! All mine! I marked him!!" She shouted grabbing onto him, getting paint on herself as well.

Then out of nowhere blue paint was splashed onto Deidara, Grace Sky Pirate shouted "Ha, I marked him too, so he's mine!!!" She latched onto him too. Then a paint fight started. More and more girls started coming out of nowhere and soon the whole room was covered in multiple colors and all the girls were covered. They all stopped, why you ask? They ran out of paint…very sad isn't it…anyway after the paint throwing stopped, all the girls except Grahamsmoon left. Deidara started mumbling about a shower and went into the bathroom attached to the room they were in. After a few moments he came out all clean only to be ambushed with red paint that Grahamsmoon hid. She latched onto him again and squealed, "See, you're mine!!!! All mine!!!!!!!!! MWAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Outside of the room Sasori was wondering what was taking them so long, so he decided to look inside. He saw Deidara with a bunch of red stuff splattered on him and Grahamsmoon latched onto his arm. "Nnnnnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!! Evil fangirl is gonna kill him!!" Then Sasori ran out of the room screaming like a little girl.

Back at the main party area, Sienna Maiu went into the closet Lee was thrown into the last chapter. She turned on the lights and saw him sleeping. "Lee-lee!!" She latched onto him. Then she shook him til he woke up.

"Huh? Aw, I have the biggest headache…hey who are you?" He asked. Sienna Maiu squeezed him even tighter. "C-can't b-br-breathe!" He passed out again…

"…oh well, let's see who's next?" Sienna Maiu pulled out a list and rushed off to find Sakura. She found Sakura looking for Sasuke, "Oh my God, Sakura! You're awesome! I'm like you're biggest fan!!"

Sakura blinked a few times then she smiled, she closed her eyes and said "Heh heh heh…I didn't think one of my fans would be here…" When she opened her eyes Sienna Maiu was gone. She was going around telling everyone else how big of a fan she was of them.

Chibi Kisame was skipping around holding onto a new, unopened bottle of Mountain Dew when he was attacked by Akuma, who has been sugar-high all last week and today off of Mountain Dew, and wants more. She took the Mountain Dew and ran off. Mountain Dew always tastes best if you take it from someone else. She left a chibi Kisame on the ground wiping tears from his eyes. Then a girl hugged him from behind, making him fall forward. It was Grace Sky Pirate. Not too far Sienna Maiu was standing squealing about how cute he was. But when she saw Grace Sky Pirate hug him she got mad. She grabbed onto chibi Kisame's arm and pulled. Grace Sky Pirate pulled the other arm. And poor little chibi Kisame looked really, really scared. The two girls kept pulling and pulling.

"My Fishy!!"

"No, my Guppy!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!

"Mi-" Grace Sky Pirate stopped and ran off, leaving Kisame in the hands of Sienna Maiu.

Zabuza found himself in a random room. "Zabuza…." said Grace Sky Pirate in a creepy voice. Zabuza's eyes widened. He heard her but he couldn't see her. "Zabuza…" He turned around and saw Grace Sky Pirate. "Zabuza…"

"What's wrong with you? You're starting to creep me out…"

"Zabuza…"

"Nyyyyaaaannnnn! Getaway from me!!!!" Zabuza screamed and ran up the wall out of Grace Sky Pirate's range.

"Zabuza…" She said extending out her arms. Zabuza got his sword ready to attack her. When Haku came in.

"Zabuza, I heard you scream like a girl!" Haku said.

"Haku! Attack her, now!" He said pointing to Grace Day Pirate.

Haku looked at him, "Uh…are you feeling okay?"

"Haku!!!!!!!!!!!!" Grace Day Pirate leaped onto him and he fell to the ground.

"Aaahhhhh!! Get her off!!!"

Kakashi was in a corner reading his book. And Mysterious woman took it. "Nani?!"

"Take off you're mask!" she said.

"No…"

"Then you're little book gets burned…"

"…all right fine…but not in public…" So they went into another room and Kakashi took off his mask. And underneath it was ANOTHER MASK!!!!!

"…yeah…I'm burning the book…" Mysterious Woman said.

"No! Fine, I'll show you my true face…" Kakashi grabbed the top of his mask and started pulling it down.

"You know what I'm wondering?" Sasuke asked Neji in the main room.

"What?"

"This is Akuma's party right?"

"Well technically yeah…she's the authoress…why?"

"Where is she?"

"…No idea…"

Upstairs Akuma was playing Naruto: Ultimate Ninja on her PS2 with Naruto. She was winning. Naruto started cursing at the game. When he was grabbed and dragged under the couch they were sitting on.

From under the couch you could hear, "Naryu-chyyaaaan!!!!!!!"

He managed to get out from underneath, but Destiny Gamer was still holding onto him. Akuma sweat dropped but then she shrugged it off and started beating Naruto's character up into a pulp because she's cheap like that.

Back down with Kakashi, he had his mask back on and he had his book back, but now his problem was that Mysterious Woman refused to let go of him.

Back upstairs Akuma finished beating Naruto in the game. Destiny Gamer was still latched onto Naruto, "Naryu-chyan…you're so hot…" Naruto kept trying to escape her iron grip when they heard a big boom downstairs. The three of them ran to the banister where they met a now clean Deidara. They looked down and saw Grahamsmoon sanding on a giant paint drum laughing while everyone else was covered in paint.

Akuma looked at Deidara. She pulled out a bucket of paint out of no where and dumped it on him. Then she pushed him off the banister and landed on Grahamsmoon, getting paint on her. They both got up and she pulled a rope that came out of no where and paint fell on Destiny Gamer, Akuma, and Naruto. Then she squealed "Deidara!!" and latched onto him.

**Me: There's day two!**

**Sasuke: …4 more days of torture left…**

**Me: Mean…anyway, for the people who listed more then one person, sorry if I didn't get them all, but if you want to be in more days then just tell me kay? Thanks!**

**Sasuke: …**


	6. Party Day 3

**Me: Day 3!**

**Gaara: Did the sugar wear off yet?**

**Me: No. And today's a snow day!!!**

**Gaara: …I hate snow…**

**Me: Same here. That's why I stay inside. Now say the disclaimer.**

**Gaara: Akuma owns nothing…and thinks she needs more Mountain Dew, but is already too sugar high…**

"Today's the halfway point!" Akuma said.

"…what's you're point?" Sasuke asked.

"It means three more days til Naruto: Shippuden comes out."

"So…"

"I'm gonna reveal spoilers."

"Why?"

"To see how they effect you guys."

"…I'm leaving this stupid party…"

"You mean like how you left Konoha just to die?"

"What?"

Let's see here…your words were Orochimaru has to power to kill Itachi if I help him, so as long as he's dead I don't care if I die…or something like that."

"…that's stupid. I want to revive my clan, so how will I do that if I'm dead?"

"Hey, you said it…"

Sasuke went off to sulk, and Akuma turned to Ino, "You get over Sasuke."

"What?" she asked.

"Yeah…you see some guy named Sai and then you say he looks just like him."

Sai walked into the room, "What are you guys talking about?" Ino saw him and started blushing.

"Oh, and Gaara, you die."

"What?"

"Yeah you die, and then you get bought back to life…"

"How do I die?"

"Ask Deidara…he's the one that took you to your doom…and that's all the spoilers I'll do for now." Akuma walked out of the room and went upstairs leaving the Naruto characters to wonder what else was going to happen. And Gaara was formulating a pre-revenge.

"Chocolate pudding!" Naruto shouted as he walked into the kitchen. The others rushed in and saw lots and lots of chocolate pudding.

Akuma ran down, "Pudding? I love chocolate pudding."

Grahamsmoon finished putting the freshly made pudding into bowls. "Deidara!"

Deidara looked scared, but then he saw the pudding. His eyes darted back and forth between Grahamsmoon and pudding. He decided to stay; no one could resist pudding…especially chocolate pudding…yum… Everyone got a bowl of pudding and started eating, that is except Deidara…he wasn't fast enough.

"Say ahh." Grahamsmoon said lifting up a spoon.

"Uh…why are you spoon feeding me?"

"You need to get used to it…"

"Why?"

"You loose your arms."

"What how?"

"You blow one up, and Kakashi sends the other into some different dimension…"

"I'm gonna kill hi-" Deidara was cut off by a spoon of pudding being put into his mouth. "Yum…pudding…" Grahamsmoon smiled and continued spoon feeding Deidara.

Grace Sky Pirate was sneaking around in the shadows looking for her target. She saw him and she was ready to torture. She tackled Orochimaru to the ground and started punching him. "You damned bastard! If it weren't for you…um…killed lots of people…uh yeah…"

"That's all you can think of?"

"I hate you okay?" She started shaking him by his shirt.

Kabuto came by, "Orochimaru-sama! Are you okay?"

"Kabuto!" Grace Sky Pirate let go of Orochimaru and latched onto him.

Deidara fell asleep in the kitchen, the sugar started wearing off…"Awww! He's so cute when he's sleeping!" Grahamsmoon squealed, and then she latched onto him. Then came a nightmare the sugar started wearing off, and the fatigue from lack of sleep started kicking in. She fell a sleep latched onto Deidara's arm. There were a few movements to get more comfortable while they slept, so in the end Deidara had his arms around her and her head was buried into his chest.

Sasuke was sulking somewhere and then started think, Sakura and Ino were actually the only girls in Konoha that obsessed like that over him…and Akuma said something about Ino getting over him…so that means…Sakura was the only one left for him now…he needed a drink…the only thing left to drink was Tsunade's saki…weird. Oh, well. Sasuke started drinking.

Sakura went off somewhere, she was tired. All the energy from sugar wore off and now the side effect was kicking in. She was about to fall asleep. She went upstairs to find a place to lay down. She found a room with a bed in it and she laid down and fell asleep.

Sasuke got yelled at Tsunade for drinking her saki. He started walking away mumbling. Then he yawned…the sugar was wearing off…he had to get some sleep…he walked upstairs and opened a door, where he saw Sakura sleeping on the bed. It's been about 2 years and he hasn't really seen her. He spent most of the party trying to avoid her. She had really changed. He blushed. He started thinking, _"…she's like an angel…I've never actually looked at her before…but…"_ Sasuke shook his head blaming it on the saki. "I need to find a place to sleep" he said to himself. Sakura started shaking. Sasuke decided he couldn't just leave her like that. So he went up to the bed she was sleeping on and pulled the covers over her. He was about to go towards the door when she grabbed his arm.

"Sasuke-kun…please…don't leave me…" she said quietly. Sasuke looked down at her. Was she awake? Her eyes were closed, but tears went down her cheek…she was crying in her sleep.

"_I-I really must've hurt her then…" _he thought to himself. For a moment he felt a pang of guilt. Then sleep overcame him and fell onto the bed beside her. They were both asleep.

Mysterious Woman grabbed Konohamaru from behind. "What the?" Konohamaru exclaimed surprised. "Aren't you Kakashi's fangirl?"

"Yeah…put you become hot in Shippuden!"

"Huh? Really?"

"Yup….and I claim you before everyone els- yawn…" Mysterious Woman's sugar rush was starting to wear off like everyone else's. She fell asleep with her arms around Konohamaru. Soon he fell asleep too.

Naruto was hiding from Destiny Gamer. He went into a closet, but she was already there. "Nnnaaaruuuu!!!" She latched onto him.

"Waaahhhh!! Why won't you leave me alone!!"

"Cause you're hot!"

"…what about the 20 other guys you think are hot?"

"…uh…I'm a fangirl!! I'm allowed to do that!"

"…evil…"

"You aren't talking as much as you usually do…"

"Akuma took the last bottle of Mountain Dew and now she's no where to be found…"

"…you know I haven't seen her either…weird…yawn…" Destiny Gamer started getting tired and fell asleep latched onto Naruto's waist.

Naruto took this as a chance to escape and started making his way to the closet door, but he fell because of Destiny Gamer. He tried getting her off, but even asleep she had an iron grip. Naruto tried furiously trying to get her off but it was no use. He used up the rest of his energy and fell asleep.

Sienna Maiu untied Lee and woke him up. He was full of energy because he was asleep most of the time, but he had a huge headache. "Lee!!" Sienna Maiu latched onto him. He was confused. What was going on? Sienna Maiu squeezed his arm tighter and tighter and his circulation was cut off. Then she fell asleep. Lee looked down at her unsure of what to do. She was sleeping and he wouldn't want to disturb her, so he just sat there and waited until he fell asleep too.

"Gaara, are you tired?" Grace Sky Prate asked.

"No…I'm used to staying up long periods of time…"

"Can you show me the Tanuki Sleep Technique?"

"No…"

"I'll leave you alone if you do it…" Gaara did the technique and fell a sleep. "Sucker…he's so cute when he's asle-" Grace Sky Pirate cut and fell asleep too. She fell onto the ground next to Gaara.

Akuma walked inside of the house and saw people sleeping on the ground, couch, table, everywhere. "…good thing I went out to get more Mountain Dew…" She put the Mountain Dew into the fridge and went upstairs to her room where she saw Sasuke and Sakura sleeping in her bed. She blinked a few times. "Weird…they had better not have done anything in my bed…" She got her laptop and went up to the attic.

A figure said, "So…is everything prepared?"

"Yup! We'll be able to get the plan stared soon…"

"Excellent…"

**Me: Done!**

**Gaara: If you had a snow day why'd it take you so long to write this?  
Me: I went to the movies and I saw Epic Movie. It was hilarious…and I know this chapter wasn't that funny…oh well. I'll make sue the other one is.**

**Gaara: Who was the person in the attic?**

**Me: You'll see…**

**Gaara: Shit, she has that look again!**


	7. Party Day 4

**Me: Hahahahaha!!**

**Sakura: What's with you?**

**Me: Lack of sugar…it's weird, if I don't have any sugar I'm still hyper, unless I'm out of energy…**

**Sakura: Weird…I'll just say the disclaimer now. Akuma owns nothing.**

Everyone was sleeping, and that was boring. Thumping was heard from a closet. Akuma went down to see who was in the closet, it was Itachi. She asked, "Why are you in a closet?"

"The other Akatsuki members locked me in here so I wouldn't get any Mountain Dew…"

"Okay…I'm guessing you want one?" He nodded. "In the fridge…I'm gonna wake everyone up now…" Itachi went to the kitchen for a Mountain Dew.

When he walked in he saw Deidara sleeping with his arms around Grahamsmoon. He saw that sight and started laughing. Then he took out a camera from no where and took pictures. He drank his Mountain Dew while planning how to get revenge on his "teammates".

Akuma was in the main room and pulled out a huge water gun out of nowhere with a smirk on her face. She sprayed everyone with it. They started waking up and yelled at her. She just shrugged it off and went to see if people were sleeping anywhere else. She opened a closet where Destiny Gamer was sleeping clinging on a sleeping Naruto's waist. Akuma sprayed them and they woke up. They sat up and looked at each other. "Naru!!" Destiny Gamer latched onto him again.

"Awww come on! She was actually harmless asleep!"

Akuma was already gone. She looked in another closet and saw Sienna Maiu sleeping latched onto Lee's arm. She sprayed them, they were still sleeping. She sprayed them with a stronger force, they were still sleeping. Akuma blinked a few times looking at them and left. After she was gone Sienna Maiu opened her eyes and shook Lee awake. He woke up and she said, "Come on, let's go outside!"

"Huh? Why?"

"It's snowing!"

"Seriously?"

"Yup, now let's get some other people so we can have a snowball fight!"

"All right, let's go!"

Sienna Maiu went around the house looking for people who wanted to have a snowball fight, but strangely no one was around.

Akuma went upstairs to wake up Sasuke and Sakura. They were in an awkward position. Itachi came in and took a picture then left. Akuma tried spraying them, but the water gun was empty now. So she went up to her stereo and put the sound up really, really high and blasted loud music. After one song was over she turned it off and they were still sleeping. She went downstairs and got ice. She dumped it on them and they were still sleeping. She shook them, and they kept sleeping. Akuma yelled in frustration and left the room.

The door clicked closed and Sakura and Sasuke slowly opened their eyes. Their faces were less than an inch away from each other. They screamed and tried getting out of bed. But their legs were tangled up together and they fell off. Sasuke landed on Sakura, and their position was very awkward. Iruka opened the door, "I heard something so I-" he looked at the position they were in. He turned red and walked out of the room closing the door.

Sasuke and Sakura looked at each other, they were both bright red. Sasuke got off of her and they both sat up not looking at each other. Eventually Sasuke got up and left the room. Sakura sat there confused, "What happened last night? I need a drink…" Sakura went downstairs and started drinking Tsunade's saki. She was starting to see why Tsunade liked it so much.

Akuma walked into the kitchen and was about to wake up Deidara and Grahamsmoon, but she thought, _"Screw it…they'll wake up eventually…I need a Mountain Dew…"_ Akuma got a Mountain Dew from the fridge. _"Hopefully they don't go through it as fast…I don't think he'll lend me anymore money…"_

Outside, Naruto, Sasuke, Sienna Maiu, Destiny Gamer, Lee, Kabuto, Kisame, Gaara, Kakashi, Grace Sky Pirate, Mysterious Woman, and Itachi were picking teams for a snowball fight.

The teams were Naruto, Destiny Gamer, Lee, Sienna Maiu, Gaara, and Itachi. And the other team was Sasuke, Kakashi, Mysterious Woman, Grace Sky Pirate, Kabuto, and Kisame.

And the snowball fight started. First they started by making forts. They were over doing it though. Naruto's team's fort was huge, and they made like five rooms for it. And Sasuke's Team's fort was a really high tower.

Inside Akuma was on her laptop playing Final Fantasy VII. It's an old game, but she didn't care…Cloud and Vincent were hot…

Sakura and Hinata were playing Naruto: Ultimate Ninja on the PS2. Sakura was Sasuke and Hinata was Naruto. They started beating the crap out of each other. But little did they know that what ever they made Naruto and Sasuke do in the game, they really did outside.

Outside the forts were destroyed instantly by Sasuke and Naruto who had no control over their bodies.

In the kitchen Deidara was laying down, he was awake now. He looked at Grahamsmoon who was sill sleeping. He hated to admit it, but she looked harmless and innocent asleep. She started talking in her sleep, "…Kabuto…so hot…"

Deidara looked at her and felt kind of mad. A little jealousy there? "I'm not jealous!" He shouted at the narrator.

"Hey! Don't yell at me!"

"Then stop saying I'm jealous!" 

"Why? You know it's true!"

"Why don't you just shut up?"

"Screw you, I'm moving to a different scene…"

Upstairs Sakura and Hinata were still playing. Akuma went up to the attic. Sasuke did the chidori in the videogame, and outside Sasuke did the chidori too. Then on the video game Naruto did his ultimate special where Jaraiya came in with Gamabunta. And then the Yondaime came in and threw Sasuke into the air and slashed him with a sword. The exact same thing happened outside.

Outside Naruto and Sasuke lost complete control of their bodies. They saw Youndaime. "Is that…" Kakashi started off.

"The fourth?" Itachi finished.

"The forth? II thought he died." Naruto said.

"Haku and Zabuza died, but they're here…Akuma probably did something…" Sasuke said.

And then he punched Naruto, and Naruto kicked him back. They were losing control again. "Shit! Naruto quick, while we still have control. We need to knock each other out!" Naruto nodded and they ran towards each other. Then they were both unconscious. But their bodies started moving on their own.

Inside Sakura and Hinata were still playing, both their health was in green, so this was gonna take a while.

After a while Sakura and Hinata go bored so they turned off the game and went outside to see what he others were doing. They saw Sasuke and Naruto unconscious on the ground. "Sasuke-kun!" Sakura shouted and she ran towards him.

"Naruto-kun!" Hinata went to Naruto.

"That fight was awesome…" Destiny Gamer said.

"They were being controlled by someone else…if he has to be controlled to fight like that…he'll never be able to beat me…" Itachi said.

Naruto and Sasuke regained consciousness and sat up. They all went inside. Grahamsmoon finally woke up. When everyone was inside she shouted, "HUG FRENZY!!!" All the fangirls squealed and squeezed the life out the guys. Deidara avoided Grahamsmoon's eyes. "Kabuto!!" she squealed. She latched onto Kabuto and Deidara started twitching.

"Awww…is Deidara jealous?" Itachi said with a smirk.

"No, why would I be?"

"Well…" Itachi pulled out a picture.

"Dude, is that your brother in bed with…so do you think they did it?"

"What?", Itachi looked at the picture, "Woops wrong one…this is the right one…" Itachi said putting the right picture in front of his face.

Deidara gasped in shock, it was a picture of him sleeping with his arms around Grahamsmoon, "H-how'd you…hey wait, how'd you get out of the closet?"

"…shut up. You know you're jealous…"

"I am not JEALOUS!!"

"Since you're denying it like that, it means your are…"

"…why don't you just shut up and I won't show everyone the tape from your last birthday party…"

Itachi twitched, "…fine…jerk…"

"I WOULD'VE TOTALLY BEAT YOU!!" Naruto said to Sasuke referring to the little incident during the snowball fight.

"No, how could an idiot like you beat me?" Sasuke said glaring at Naruto.

"I am not an idiot!! I could so beat you!!"

"Wanna see?"

"Heh, heh, all right then lets go…" Naruto and Sasuke went to opposite sides of the room and ran at each other with chidori and rasengan. Both of their jutsu clashed and there was a huge explosion. They left a huge hole in the wall. The two of them looked at each other and then behind them. Akuma had a very angry expression.

"You idiots!! Do you know how mush this is gonna cost? I don't have any money!!"

"Then how'd you get the Mountain Dew?" Sasuke asked.

"Someone gave me the money, but there's no way he's gonna give me any for this…"

"Who gave you the money? Is it a character from the show?" Naruto asked.

"No…all I'm gonna say is that he's a Naruto OC for a fic that I didn't put up yet…and his initials are H.U or U.H depending on how you look at it…and that's all I'm telling…I need a drink…"

**Me: Done…I need sugar…**

**Sakura: Hey, it's only 11:40. Shouldn't you be in school?"**

**Me: We had another snow day. There's at least a foot of snow outside, and it's still snowing.**

**Sakura: Wow…**


	8. Party Day 5

**Me: …grrr…**

**Kakashi: Mad?**

**Me: Duh…I had to go to school today…I wish I could drive so I could skip…**

**Kakashi: Skipping is bad. Without an education you have no future.**

**Me: Will one day in b/w 2 snow days and a 4 day weekend really make that much of difference?**

**Kakashi: …I'll just say the disclaimer…Akuma owns nothing…**

Naruto and Sasuke finally finished patching up the hole they made at 3AM. They fell asleep next to each other and ended up in a position Yaoi fans would love. Itachi went to see if they finished or not and saw this as an opportunity. So he pulled out his camera and took a picture.

When Sasuke and Naruto woke up at noon they noticed the position they were in, their screams ere heard throughout the entire house. "Not clean!! Not clean!!" Naruto screamed running out of the room.

Sasuke sat there twitching…he couldn't believe what happened. He walked into the main room and everyone looked at him and became quiet. Other people started laughing and Sakura was blushing. They were all crowded a around a poster. He went up to the poster and turned red then he shouted, "Oh my GOD!!!!!!! Who the hell did this?" On the poster was a picture of him and Sakura and a picture of him and Naruto.

"Hahahahaha!!! God this is hilarious! I was going to save those pictures for later, but then I decided what the hell! Might as well!!" Itachi said laughing.

"I'm killing you!!" Sasuke shouted.

"That's what you always say, but you never do, do you?" Sasuke started growling and left.

"Food!!" Kiba shouted. Everyone looked at the table. It was full of burgers, pizza, fries, lasagna, soup, and, muffins courtesy of Grahamsmoon.

Everyone scrambled for it. "I go first, cause my team won the snowball fight!" Naruto said.

"What are you talking about?" Sasuke said, "My team won!"

"Yeah right. Mine won."

"No, mine did!" They kept fighting and everyone else got their food. Idiots…

Eventually Naruto and Sasuke ate. Then the lights turned off. "Ahhh! No don't take me!!!" Deidara screamed in the dark. Then the lights turned on. Deidara and Grahamsmoon were missing.

"Fangirls are evil…they can't be trusted…" Sasori said getting a puppet out.

"Sasori!!" Akuma squealed grabbing him from behind.

"Ahhhhh!! No!! Fangirl!!" Sasori screamed trying to run away. But Akuma's grip was too tight. Then lights flickered on and off. Growling was heard in the house.

"Damn him…he's trying to act cool now…" Akuma said.

"Who? The guy giving you money for the party?" Naruto asked.

"Yeah…and you guys want another hint don't you…" Everyone nodded, "Sigh…the H in his initials are his first name. And his fist Name is Hiro…"

"What did you mean when you said his initials were U.H or H.U?" Sakura asked.

"In Asia last name comes first, and in other places last name comes last."

"Oh…that isn't much of a clue…" Sasuke said.

"I gave you his name God…idiot!" The lights turned off again. Everyone was quiet.

"Ahhh!! Stop it!!!" Deidara's voice yelled. The lights turned on again and Deidara crawled out of a closet, with lip gloss smeared on his face, followed by a smiling Grahamsmoon. "Evil…" he muttered. Sasori started laughing. Then the lights turned off again. But this time they stayed off. A rumbling sound was heard throughout the house.

"Damn it…Hiro!! Stop messing around!!" Akuma shouted. The only response was a few dim lights turning on. "Damn him…I'll give you another hint. He's someone's older brother. You should be able to figure it out like that…and if you find him drag him down here…" Then Akuma left the room.

"Someone's older brother…well his last name starts with a U, so we can narrow it down a little…" Neji said.

"There's Uchiha, but Itachi's my only brother…and if I had any others he probably killed them…" Sasuke said.

"…uh…Iruka-sensei?" Naruto asked, "Did you have any older brothers?"

"No…I'm sure of it." Iruka answered.

"So that leaves…Uzumaki…" Sakura said.

"What? I don't even know who my dad is…it can't be my older brother…"

"Well she said it was an OC right?"

"His name is Uzumaki Hiro." Gai said, "I looked on her profile page. She has a section for future fanfics on it."

Everyone crowded around the computer it read: His Remaining Relative- Imagine that your mother died giving birth to your little brother...then imagine your father died because of your little brother...there's no need to imagine for Uzumaki Hiro…

"So…it's you're brother Naruto…" Sasuke said, "He's probably a loser like you…"

"My parents died because of me?" Naruto said not paying attention to Sasuke. "…I feel all emo like Sasuke now…"

"I'm not emo!!" Sasuke shouted.

"Sasuke, you should be honest with yourself…just like you were with Naruto!" Itachi said happily.

"I'm not gay!!"

"I'm going to go find my brother…" Naruto said.

"I'm going with you! Akuma showed me a drawing of him at school! He looks like your dad!" Destiny Gamer said.

"You know who my dad is?"

"Well it's a theory…but it's widely accepted…" Akuma said, "So I guess you learned huh? But you cheated!! You weren't supposed to use a computer!!"

"Uh…do you know where Hiro is?" Naruto asked.

"He went off to hide…so I couldn't kill him for messing with the lights…"

"I'm right here…" A deep voice said. Everyone turned to see who it was. It was a 23 year old man with dirty blonde hair and midnight blue eyes. His hair was spiky and long on the sides. He wore a long black jacket with a high collar, a dark blue shirt, and dark jeans. "Hello little brother…how are you?"

"…so hot…" Akuma muttered to herself.

"Uh Akuma…isn't he your OC?" Mysterious woman asked.

"…so…he's still hot…"

"So you're my brother?" Naruto asked.

"Yup…and do you know why I'm here?" Naruto shook his head. "Well…I've always blamed you for mom and dad's deaths…but they loved you…so I'm gonna send you to them…"

Everyone looked at Akuma, "He's evil?" They asked.

"…he lied to me! You said you wanted to play hide and seek!" Akuma shouted.

"Hey, so designed my personality. You should've seen this coming…any way…" Hiro turned to Naruto, "We're gonna play a game…it's called hide and go get killed if your found…so get running…same for everyone else…" Everyone rushed out of the room, except Akuma.

"Ass…" She said before leaving. Hiro stuck his tongue out at her when she left. Hiro sat in the room reading one of Kakashi's Icha Icha Violence books. He was smiling and laughing to himself as he read. That's right people, Hiro is perverted like Naruto!

The genin were split into their original 3 man cells. All the jonin and other adults disappeared somewhere. Team 10 (Shikamaru, Ino, and Chouji) were walking around a dark hallway. "Naruto's brother is a psychopath…" Shikamaru said to himself, "This is going to be troublesome…"

The Sand siblings were walking down another hallway. Temari said, "This place is bigger than I thought…we've been walking down this hall forever…"

"…then it's genjutsu…" Gaara said calmly. "Temari you get out of it and then wake us up…"

"Okay…" Temari made a seal and cancelled the genjutsu on her. She was back in the normal hallway. She something crawl by her. It was a mouse. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She ran through the hallway and bumped into Shikamaru. When she was gone the mouse turned into Gamakichi.

"Hahahaha!! Hiro was right. It worked!" He said to himself.

Temari grabbed onto Shikamaru "Mouse!" She screamed.

"…this is so troublesome…"

Back with Gaara and Konkuro. They were out of the genjutsu now. "She got us out by hurting us?" Kankuro said angrily.

"Who knew screams would hurt so much…" Gaara said.

Lee, Neji, and Tenten were caught in a net. "…Neji…I thought you were keeping an eye out…" Tenten said angrily.

"I was! This guy's good…is he really Naruto's brother?"

"Damn it! These nets are really strong!!" Lee said trying to break free.

Team 8 (Hinata, Kiba, and Shino) were walking in another hallway. Then Akamaru ran ahead of them. Kiba chased after him and the others followed. Akamaru stopped in a room and started eating dog treats in the middle. Kiba, Shino, and Hinata sweat dropped and the door behind them slammed shut. Now they were stuck. "I blame you Kiba…" Shino said.

Now I'm sure you're wondering where the fangirls and the rest of the adults are. They were in the basement. It had everything, plasma screens, hot tub, videogames, computer, food, and drinks. So pretty much they were just relaxing while everyone else might get killed.

Now with team 2 (Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura). "My brother is worse than yours…" Naruto said to Sasuke, "At least he let you live…"

"Well your brother didn't kill your whole family did he?"

"This is so screwed up…" Sakura said.

"Watch my back okay?" Sasuke said to Naruto and Sakura. The three of them walked down a dimly lit hallway. Sasuke was leading the way. And then Hiro appeared in front of them.

"Oh shit…uh Sasuke, turn around…" Naruto said. Sasuke did as he was told. And then Naruto pointed at Hiro and shouted, "Behind you!!" They all sweat dropped.

**Me: Cliff Hanger!!!**

**Kakashi: You have a twisted mind…**

**Me: Thank you…and tomorrow's the last day, so for anyone who wants to join it's your last chance! Oh, and tell me the scariest movie you've ever seen and you you're favourite guy, only one. Thank you!**

**Kakashi: God you're hyper…**

**Me: I just had a 32oz Mountain Dew slushy!**


	9. Party Day 6

**Me: Woot!! Naruto: Shippuden came out!!!**

**Naruto: Yes! Finally!**

**Me: But the episode didn't cover as much as I was expecting…**

**Naruto: …you love to ruin a moment don't you…**

**Me: Yup! Now ay the disclaimer!**

**Naruto: Akuma owns nothing.**

Hiro smirked looking at his younger brother Naruto. He was going to get his revenge on the cause for his pain. "Hiro…leave your little brother alone…" someone said from behind. Somehow everyone was in the main room.

"Who are you o tell me what to do?"

"Hiro, I am your father."

"What?" Hiro turned and saw the Yondaime.

People in the room started talking, "I thought he was dead…" "He's their dad?"

"I know I'm supposed to be dead, but so is Haku and Zabuza, but their alive…" Yondaime said.

"Wait…then where were you the whole time?" Hiro asked.

"Basement. They have every Mountain Dew known to man down there! Even pitch black!!"

Everyone gasped and scrambled (back) to the basement. Akuma stayed in the main room with Naruto, Hiro, and Yondaime.

"You knew he was here?!" Hiro said angrily.

"Duh."

"Evil…"Naruto said.

"Whatever…let's go watch scary movies!"

"Sure why not…" The rest of them went down to the basement to watch some movies.

First they watched the Grudge. Sienna Maiu squirmed during most of the parts, and at the scary parts she screamed and grabbed onto Naruto. Then the next movie was a post apocalypse flick. Grahamsmoon got scared and grabbed onto Deidara. The last movie was Saw 2. It wasn't that scary but it was cool. "Kabuto…this guy's torture ideas are really good…take notes…" Orochimaru told Kabuto.

"…okay…" Kabuto said.

After movies were done everyone went to playing videogames, TV, eating, drinking, and computer…not a vary good way to end a party sooooo…the lights turned off. And music started playing. Different colored lights started flashing and soon everyone started dancing.

Hiro was at the bar drinking some Mountain Dew Pitch Black. "Hey…so are you still going to kill me?" Naruto asked.

"Not in this fic." Hiro answered taking a shot of his drink. Naruto sat down and started drinking too. Yondaime was running around sugar high. And Panda Gaara returned. Itachi took pictures, they'll be good for blackmail later.

Panda Gaara went skipping around the room with Konkuro. They ran through the middle of the dance floor and got in everyone's way. Kisame was chibi again and Grace Sky Pirate was squeezing him like a little plushy. Deidara was sugar high along with Grahamsmoon and they were throwing paint everywhere. Mysterious Woman took Kakashi's book and played scavenger hunt with it. Destiny Gamer was sugar high and bugged Sasuke. And Akuma…where is Akuma anyway?

She was trying to take Yondaime's jacket. She was chasing him all around the room. Then because the authoress was running out of idea Final Fantasy VII characters. Cloud, Vincent, Barret, Red XIII, Yuffie, Aerith, Cid, and Tifa came into the room very confused. "Cloud!!!!!!!!" Akuma jumped on him.

"Shit! Fangirl!" Cloud shouted.

"Vincent!" Akuma somehow duplicated herself so she was now on both Cloud and Vincent.

"Shit!" The both exclaimed.

You're probably thinking that this is very weird, but that is because now the authoress has Mountain Dew! No one is safe!! MWWWWAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, the Naruto characters just looked at the Final Fantasy Characters. "We're better than you!" Naruto shouted.

"No, we are!" Barret shouted back.

"Well, you guys only show up in a few games and a move, and we have a whole anime/manga series and videogames!"

"We have more realistic graphics! And hotter guys!" Tifa said joining in.

"We have more dramatic scenes…" Gaara said, still in the panda suit. Everyone just started staring at him, "…I'm still wearing the panda suit aren't I…shit…the zipper's stuck!!" Gaara couldn't get the suit off.

"Our video games have actual story lines to it!" Vincent said.

"You're video games are all you have!!" Sasuke shouted.

"Our video games are a famous classic!" Aerith said.

"We have more characters!" Sakura said.

"Even our major villains are loved!"

"…you have a point there…Orochimaru is actually the major villain…" Temari said.

"Traitor!! Who's side are you on!?" Konkuro yelled at Temari.

"This whole conversation is pointless. I say we just ki- hey is that MD Pitch Black?" Sephiroth said. Then he went to the bar. Everyone just shrugged and went to the bar too. Then they were all sugar high!!

Gaara still couldn't get the panda suit off. He tried cutting it off with a kunai, but that still didn't work. He was stuck being panda Gaara forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or until the chapter ended…

Naruto, Sasuke, Kisame, Kakashi, and Deidara were all talking at the bar. "You know…I'd hate to admit it, but I'm gonna miss the fangirls…" Deidara said.

"Yeah, I know what you mean…" Kisame said. "It was actually fun having them around…"

"Yeah, especially when one of them drenched Deidara in paint and Sasori thought she was killing him!" Naruto said laughing.

"Shut it Kyubi…but that was pretty funny wasn't it…"

"I feel like we should do something for them…" Kakashi said.

"Same here…what's something that all fangirls would want…besides dragging us away and keeping us forever…" Sasuke said.

"…I know…but you guys sure about this?" Kakashi asked.

The Final Fantasy characters were completely wasted. Sephiroth was going on a sugar rampage, taking everyone's Mountain Dew, evil!!!!!!!!! Cloud was acting like a three year old. Tifa and Aerith were laughing nonstop. Vincent played target practice with empty Mountain Dew bottles and missed when they were an inch away from his gun. And Yuffie…uh…she disappeared somewhere and uh…okay, she stole the Mountain Dew Sephiroth stole…

Gaara gave up on the Panda suit and had a few shots at the bar.

The party was coming to an end and Sasuke, Naruto, Deidara, Kisame, and Kakashi were ready to do their plan.

Deidara went up to Grahamsmoon, Kisame to Grace Sky Pirate, Naruto to Sienna Maiu, Sasuke to Destiny Gamer, and Kakashi to Mysterious woman. They all admitted that they had fun and that fangirls weren't that bd. Then they leaned forward and…

**BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

In the middle of the room, a sugar high Cloud and Yondaime were laughing like maniacs. There was tons of ruble and rock around them. "So that's what happens when you clash Rasengan and Materia!" Yondaime said.

"Yeah! Hahahahhaha!!! That was fun let's do it again!"

"We can't! The chapter's over!"

**Me: Done!**

**Naruto: Evil…**

**Me: What!?**

**Naruto: You know that the fangirls will be mad for not typing what we were going to do for them.**

**Me: …hm…what?**

**Naruto: You're too sugar high right now…**


	10. The Mission

**Me: Mwahahahhah!!!!**

**Gaara: What's wrong with you?**

**Me: I have Mountain Dew and chocolate!**

**Gaara: Shit we're all dead now!**

**Me: Yup! Now say the disclaimer!**

**Gaara: Akuma owns nothing…**

Naruto and Tsunade stared at each other with great concentration, and then Naruto blinked. "Ha I won!" Tsunade shouted.

"I hate staring contests…" Naruto mumbled.

"Oh well, I'm assigning you a mission today, free ramen day."

"Why today?"

"…cause it's fun to mess with you. But this mission is of utmost importance…our alliance with Sand relies on this single mission…"

"Now I see why you're sending me…I am the best!"

"Actually, everyone else had something to do."

"…what's the mission…" Naruto sighed.

"You must deliver this package!" Tsunade shouted holding up a small package.

"What's in it?"

"…if I reveal what's in it…a spy may hear and will take it…"

"…okay…"

"Deliver it straight to the Kazekage's mansion and give it directly to Gaara, no one else. Now go as soon as possible."

"Fine…" Naruto took the package. Normally he would've been extremely happy with a mission as important as this, but not today. It was free ramen day for crying out loud! But he had no choice…might as well get a pick me up.

Naruto went to the convenience store and asked for Code Red, "Sorry." The manager said, "There's been a severe Code Red drought throughout all the shinobi nations." Nothing was going well for Naruto today.

He began the mission. He set out for Sand. A few feet away from Konoha, Naruto was ambushed by…Konoha ANBU! "WTF!! Why are you guys attacking me?!" Naruto shouted.

"We know what's in the package. And we want it."

"…what's in it?"

"We aren't telling you. You'll take it instead!"

"…this makes no sense…isn't ANBU supposed to be helpful and protect the village?"

"Yes…but I don't see your point…"

"Hell, I don't even know what I'm saying…" Naruto said.

"Pudding!"

"Pie."

"Apple…"

"Well, I'll just be on my way…" Naruto said walking away.

"Okay, bye!!" The ANBU squad leader said waving good-bye. What a nice kid…what are we doing here?" He asked the other members of the squad.

"Uh…we were…uh…ooh butterfly!!" One of them said.

"Sigh…you get distracted so easi-I want ice cream…" Another said.

"Yeah, me too. C'mon, let's go get some." The leader said. And the three ANBU members went into the village for ice cream leaving the west boarder of the country of fire unprotected and completely vulnerable to attack.

And now back to Naruto. He walked through the forest completely bored out of his mind. So he started singing (very badly)

_Happened one day in the studio  
Dancing around in a do-si-do  
The purple monstrosity was waving his arms  
We were falling victim to his evil charms  
He brushed against a candle and he started to smoke  
And now we're all laughing at the dinosaur joke_

Oh boy, Barney's on fire!  
It's what we've always desired  
We'll watch the flames get higher  
Just don't try to put him out

Purple fur was flying ashes everywhere  
And all of the kids just continued to stare  
The guy inside the suit, he started to yell  
We probably should've helped him but what the hell  
He threw himself violently against the wall  
He fell to his knees and he tried to crawl away

_Oh Boy, Barney's on fire!  
This is our secret desire  
We'll help the flames burn bright-_

Naruto was cut off (thank goodness, I think my ears were bleeding). "Stop singing that song!" A shinobi wearing a purple and green outfit shouted.

"Uh, who are you?" Naruto asked.

Four more shinobi came out, "We are the…Barney Fans!!"

"Barney fans!!? I thought they were wiped out!!"

"They were, but we are the survivors! Now we will punish you for making fun of our beloved Barney!" A man in a Barney suit came out of nowhere and started singing.

_I love you_

_You love me_

"Ahhh make it stop!!" Naruto shouted. (I'm with him; I'd rather hear him sing than have this)

_We're a happy family_

_With a great bug hug_

Naruto felt his strength being drained away. He was on the verge of death.

_And a kiss from me to you_

_Won't you say you-_ Ahahhahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The man in the suit started yelling and fell to the ground. Naruto grinned evilly he had just lit Barney on fire. Naruto started singing again.

_Oh boy, Barney's on fire!  
This is what we've always desired  
Wont you help us fan the flames higher  
And you better not try to put him out_

The Barney fans began ti freak out, but none of them were smart enough to put out the fire. I guess being a Barney fan does that to you…Naruto left the Barney fans grieving over their _sad _loss.

Naruto continued down the path. He started getting even more bored.

Bored…

Still bored…

More bored…

Boreder…

"Ahhh!!!! Why is this so boring!!?!!!" Naruto yelled finally loosing it. With no ramen and no Mountain Dew or any other source of sugar he was bound to loose it. It's a surprise that he hadn't lost it earlier. Soon he started halucinating.

_Italicized words are what Naruto sees._ He continued to walk down the path and he shouted, "Oh my god!! A fairy!!"

_A little green fairy magically appeared in front of Naruto, "Hello, I'm the magical magic Mountain Dew fairy of magic! I'm here to guide you through the evil magic forest to find the magic supply of the magical Mountain Dew!"_

"_The legendary magical Mountain Dew that never runs out and tastes sweeter than regular Mountain Dew?!"_

"_Uh no…all Mountain Dew is magical silly! Now follow me!" The fairy flew into the forest and Naruto obidiently followed. The path was completely smooth and undangerous._

What really was happening was Naruto ran straight through the forest with his eyes closed. He always missed getting hit by an inch. He ran by a cliff and rocks started falling from the edge, all missing him.

"_Come on Naruto hurry!! We're almost there! We just need to magically run down this magical path and we'll magically be at the magically magical land of magical Mountain Dew!!" The fairy continued to fly ahead and Naruto tripped over arock. He got up and picked up the rock._

Naruto held diamond bigger than his hand. "Stupid rock!!" And threw it. He continued down the path into the desert.

"_We're hear!" The fairy said happily._

"_Where's the Mountain Dew?" Naruto asked for all he saw was a barren waste land._

"_Oh, don't worry we just need to magically open the magical door to the magi-"_

"_Okay I get the magical thing. Now how do we open it?"_

"_Simple." The fairy's eyes turned red and in a demonic voice, it said, "Give us your soul!"_

_Naruto blinked a few times. "Hahaha!! You almost had me going!!" Naruto patted the fairy's head. But he did it too hard because the fairy fell to the ground._

_The fairy got up andin a very deep and masculine voice it said, "All right that's it!! I've had it with this stupid fairy thing!! Deactivate the damned genjutsu!!"_

_Another voice said, "Awww, but boss you're so cute as a fairy!"_

"_Deactivate it before I slaughter you!!!" _The genjutsu was quickly deactivated. Naruto rubbed his eyes and he saw random un-named shinobis 1, 2, and 3.

"What'd you do with the fairy?" He asked.

"…how dense are you!?!!" Shinobi 1 shouted angrily. "It was all just a stpid ploy to kill you and get your package!!"

"What!!? What's in this stupid thing anyway?!" Naruto shouted.

"Don't play dumb." Shinobi 2 said.

"Yeah we-" Shinobi 3 three was cut off because he isn't special enough to say a complete sentence.

"Hey, you guys got me right in front of Sand. Thanks!" Naruto said walking away.

"Hey! Don't walk away on us!!" Shinobi 1 shouted. They chased after Naruto who ran into the village.

"Help! There're three crazy fairy shinobi chasing me!!" Naruto shouted to the ANBU gaurds. The ANBU gaurds stopped the shinobi and Naruto ran to into the village.

"Why are you chasing him?" The ANBU asked shinobi 1.

"Do you know what's in that package?"

"No…what?"

Naruto walked around the village feeling completely safe until. "Give me that package!!" An ANBU guard shouted. Naruto ran for his life.

He ran into the Kazekage mansion and into Gaara's office. He put the package on Gaara's desk. Konkura and Temari were in the office along with Gaara. "Oh my god…it's here!!" Konkuro shouted happily.

"It's mine!!" Temari shouted reaching for the package.

Gaara put a sand shield around the package and glared at his older siblings. Konkuro and Temari slowly backed away. Gaara smiled a chibi panda smile and opened the package. And inside it was…three bottles of Code Red!! Each of the Sand siblings took a bottle and cheered.

"What!!??!!" Naruto shouted, "I risked my life to deliver Code red??!!!"

"Yup!" Tsunade said coming into the room.

"Wait a minute…you were going to come?! Why couldn't you bring the package?!"

"Me? Do you know how dangeroous it is to carry Code Red around during a Code Red drought? I'm not crazy." Naruto yelled and Tsunade yelled back. And the Sand siblings contently drank their Code Red and whatched.

**Me: Sorry about not updating for a while.**

**Gaara: …I have no comment for this…**

**Me: Okay…fairy!!**

**Gaara: Sigh…please review…**


	11. SAW

**Me: SAW is a very gory and disturbing movie…that's why I like it.**

**Gaara: Isn't this supposed to be a crack fic? And why'd you move the rating up?**

**Me: The SAW parts really graphic…and it's actually really funny in some parts of this chapter and creepy too.**

**Gaara: …**

**Me: Reader discretion is advised. If you get queasy or disturbed easily you probably don't want to read this, but you should cause it's awesome…well my brother said it was really good and he hates it when I talk about my fics. Disclaimer please.**

**Gaara: Akuma owns nothing…and I think she's finally lost it with this chapter…**

A low scratchy voice played on a tape recorder, _"You wanna play a game…"_

"No, I just wanna go back to sleep…" Naruto replied.

The voice coming from the tape recorder replied, "Shut _up Naruto, you're playing the game weather you like it or not, you and your friends."_ Naruto was standing in a room with Sasuke, Kakashi, Hinata, Sakura, Ino, Kiba, Shikamaru, Chouji, Lee, Neji, Gai, Gaara, Konkuro, Temari, Itachi, Deidara, Sasori, Tobi, Kisame, Orochimaru, Kabuto, and Shino. The room was practically empty and the tape recorder was on a small table in the middle of the room. Curled up in the corner there was a girl with green hair that faded to black at the ends wearing all black clothes.

"Hey, who's she?" Naruto said pointing towards her, "I've never seen her before."

"_Why don't you ask her?"_

"No, don't do it!" Sasuke shouted, "This is the part where you find out she's an evil zombie and she eats your brain after she dissects your body and splits it into a bunch of pieces and spreads them all over the world!"

"_Dude, I don't even wanna know what kind of twisted world you live in…"_

"He's been watching scary movies so you can just ignore him. So, why are we here?" Shikamaru asked.

"_So, you aren't going to ask that girl who she is?"_

"I'm sure that the writer's convenience will tell us sooner or later…" Shikamaru replied.

"_Okay…well, there's a lot of you here so I'll just read from my list."_

"A list…"

"_Yes, a list:_

_Naruto- idiot, __got mature in Shippuden_

_Sasuke- emo fruit that needs to die cause he's really annoying_

_Kakashi -old pervert_

_Hinata- hasn't told Naruto how she feels and needs to get some backbone_

_Sakura and Ino- really annoying_

_Kiba- cheater(double teamed Naruto in Chunnin exams)_

_Shikamaru- lazy_

_Chouji- Glutton_

_Lee and Gai- look really creepy and 'youthful' annoyance_

_Gaara- eyeliner and hasn't destroyed the village yet_

_Neji- Constant repetition_

_Konkuro- talks to his puppets_

_Temari- just there because her brother's are there_

_Itachi- didn't kill Sasuke_

_Deidara- dude looks like a lady and killed self __to kill Sasuke_

_Sasori- got killed by Sakura of all people_

_Tobi- annoying and useless_

_Kisame- didn't kill Gai_

_Orochimaru- creepy Michael Jackson pedophile lady_

_Kabuto- serves and practically worships Orochimaru_

_Shino- bug boy_

"Wait, I'm here because of Gaara and Konkuro!?" Temari shouted.

"_Pretty much."_

"I'm gonna kill them!!"

"_Now you're here because you wanna kill my Gaa-chan!"_

"…the reasons we're here make no sense and for the ones that are supposed to be here are here for the wrong reasons…" Neji said calmly, "And you still haven't told us who you are and whet we're doing here…"

"_Do any of you know what SAW is?"_

"…a tool…"

Sasuke started to panic, "No, the movie SAW!! It's Jigsaw on that recording!! We're all doomed!!! And there's 23 of us here, 2 divided by 3 equals .666!!!! We're all going to die horrible painful deaths with no chance of escape!!!!!!! We're all doomed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"…_yeah I was talking about the movie and no I'm not Jigsaw, I'm Mushroom, and yeah, you really need to lay off the movies…"_

"Oh, and Sasuke there isn't 23 of us, remember that girl in the corner?" Kakashi said pointing to now empty corner.

"…uh, where'd she go?" Sasuke asked. He turned around and the girl was right in front of him. "Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She's the ghost from The Grudge in a new form!!!!!!!!!"

The girl just stared at him, "…you really need to lay off the movies, and how am I like ghost from The Grudge?"

"…you came out of no where…and if you aren't a ghost then who are you?"

"I'm Sora, and I'm not a ghost…and you're as crazy as Mushroom…"

"You know Mushroom?"

"Unfortunately yes…"

"Are you like Amanda? Are you here as Mushroom's apprentice? Are you a sick psychopath that puts her victims in some insane trap and make it impossible for them to escape?!!"

"No! I'm a victim here too, just not from an anime/manga…"

"…_why are you here? I don't remember bringing you here or anything."_

"…so how do you know each other?" Sasuke asked.

"In school we competed to see who had the sickest mind…I won."

"_You cheated!! And now I remember why I brought you here! You'll see that my mind is sicker, that is if you survive…"_

"…you haven't even told us what the 'game' is…"

"_I'm getting to it. Well, right now you're all breathing in a poisonous gas and the antidote is in the bottles of Mountain Dew, but you need to drink every single drop, if even the teeniest drop spills, there won't be enough antidote to work. Any questions?"_

"Uh, yeah…if this is a tape recording, how are you answering us?" Shikamaru asked.

"…_uh…if your life is in danger why are you asking questions instead of trying to survive?"_

"There's no Mountain Dew in this room…"

"_There's a few bottles hanging from the ceiling…"_

Everyone looked up towards the ceiling, and there were 10 twisted, bloody corpses hanging from the ceiling. "…I think I'm gonna be sick…" Naruto said.

"…so, where's the Mountain Dew?" Sakura asked.

"_There are 10 corpses and there are 5 bottles of Mountain Dew buried inside them, so you have to dig through them, but be thorough, cause you don't know where in the body it's buried…"_

"We have to dig through the bodies?" Sakura said beginning to look sick.

A body fell from the ceiling and made a splat sound when it hit the floor. When everybody looked up they saw that Itachi had cut the body down. Itachi jumped down and everyone just stared at him, "…what? Once you kill enough people you get used to a thing like this." He cut a hole into the stomach and started digging around inside it after a few moments he pulled out a bottle of Mountain Dew completely covered in blood. "Yum…code red…" He opened the bottle and started drinking the bottle, then Sasuke attacked him causing Itachi to drop the bottle spilling the rest of the contents. "What the hell is wrong with you!!?"

Sasuke replied, "Me!? You're the one that dug into some dead dude's body and started drinking something completely covered in blood!! And I'm gonna make sure you don't survive this." Everyone just stared at him quietly.

"…now there's 4 bottles left and 9 bodies to dig through…" Shikamaru said, "And since some of these people won't even come near these bodies it may take a while…"

"Don't worry Shikamaru I can go through these bodies instantly!" Naruto shouted. Naruto charged up his charka and shouted, "Wind Release: Rasenshuriken!!!"

"Naruto no!!" But it was too late Naruto had already shredded the remaining bodies to pieces covering everyone in blood. "…well I can see that we're pretty much screwed…you know, the most disturbing part of this is that the bloods warm…"

"I'm a blood munster!" Neji said running around.

Sasuke bumped into crow who had his mouth opened dripping with blood. "Ahhh!! It's Chuckie!!!!!!!!!!!" He shouted in fear, "I'll make sure you stay gone!!! Katon: Pheonix fire Jutsu!!!" The fireballs went directly to Crow burning him into ashes.

"Noooo!!!!!!! Crow, the only friend I've ever had…" Konkuro said looking as if he were going to cry.

"_I knew I should have gotten rid of your jutsus…anyway now that everyone's messy I think a shower is needed."_ Water started falling from the ceiling washing the blood off of everyone.

"This water smells funny." Kiba said smelling the air, "…this isn't water, it's gas!!!!!"

"It's kinda cold in here" Sasuke said to himself. "I know! Katon: Grand Fire-" Before Sasuke could finish his jutsu he was tackled to the ground by Kakashi.

"Honestly I didn't think you were _that _stupid…" Kakashi sighed.

"Nothing will stop me from getting warm, nothing!!!!!!!!" Sasuke shouted trying to get free.

"I don't think so…Chouji, sit on him."

"Okay." Chouji said eating his chips, then he sat on Sasuke.

"Ahhhh!!! I can here my ribs breaking!!!!" Sasuke shouted under Chouji.

"…actually that was me eating my chips…"

"…oh right…it's warm under you…"

"…I really didn't need to hear that…" Shikamaru sighed lighting a cigarette. He threw the match behind him and it landed in front of Tobi.

"Uh, oh…" Tobi said. Everyone started rushed out of the room through a door that nobody saw earlier.

After a bunch of people came out Sasuke shut the door behind him and leaned on it. The only ones that made it out were Naruto, Sasuke, Kakashi, Hinata, Kiba, Shikamaru, Chouji, Gaara, Konkuro, Temari, Itachi, Deidara, Sasori, Kisame, and Kabuto. The ones who didn't make it out were heard banging on the door and screaming.

When the screaming stopped Kabuto looked around frantically, "Oh no!! Orochimaru-sama hasn't come out!! I won't move on without him!!" Then he pushed Sasuke aside and ran into the flaming room. When he went inside Sasuke shut the door again.

"It's too bad that the others couldn't make it out." Sasuke said solemnly.

"Actually, they probably would have made it if you didn't shut the door…" Temari said.

"What's your point? It's not like any of those people were important."

"…good point…"

"…you're all idiots!" Sora shouted.

Everyone stared at her. "…I forgot about her…" Kiba said.

"Hey, why wasn't your name up there when it listed everyone who survived?" Konkuro asked.

She replied, "Because I'm not a Naruto character and nobody will even notice I'm here."

"Why are you here anyway?"

"…Mushroom probably wants me to witness the terrible evil…so I'll Mushroom will probably let me live." Then a huge ax came out of no where and cut off Sora's head.

"Cocky little bitch…so, who's next?" The person holding the ax turned their head. It was a woman with long black hair, an extremely pale face with bloody scars on it, and she wore a long white dress that was torn up and had bloodstains on it.

"Ahhh!!! It's Samara!!!!" Sasuke shouted.

"What? No way, how would she get here?" Gaara asked.

"That TV." Sasuke answered pointing to a big plasma screen on the wall next to him. It was on and had a white circle on it.

"…oh, well then…RUN!!!!!!!!!!" Everyone started running away from Samara. They came to a dead end and long black hair started coming out of the wall and then there came a face with blood shot eyes.

"It's, it's, it's…THE GHOST FROM THE GRUDGE!!!!!" Sasuke shouted. The ghost started moaning, she stood in front of them. Kakashi who happened to be the poor sap in the front dropped dead, and Chouji who was in the back dropped dead too.

"You bitch! They're mine!!" Samara shouted behind them standing over Chouji's body.

"Well, it's not my fault you couldn't kill them back there!!" The ghost shouted. Pretty soon they started pulling each other's hair, and beating the shit out of eachother. The survivors snuck off into a room that appeared out of nowhere. In the middle of the room there was bloody heap.

Meanwhile, out in the hallway where the two spirits were fighting. Samara said, "I think they got away."

"Well, it's your fault." The ghost from the grudge said pulling out a chainsaw.

"No, it's yours!!" Samara shouted pulling out a flamethrower.

"…you do realize that since we're both dead we can't actually kill each other right?"

"What's your point?"

"…don't know…" Then they started attacking each other with the random weapons they pulled out of no where.

The ghost from the grudge cut Samara up into pieces, then the pieces stacked up on top of each other, "Haha!! What's that little tower gonna do?!" Then the little tower attacked her, "Ahhhhhhh!!"

Back with the Naruto characters, they went up to the heap. He heap was Crow; he stood up and started making the clattering sound. A small TV in the corner turned on, on the screen there was a person with a mask of bandages covering their lower face, a black hood shaded his eyes which were glowing red. _"Hello…now you finally get to see me…"_

"Wh-who are you?" Naruto asked.

"…_are you serious?! My words are in italics, I'm Mushroom!!"_

"…you look all cool and creepy and your name is MUSHROOM!!!? What's your last name!?!?"

"_Fairy." Mushroom said happily, "Remember my name cause you'll be screaming it pretty soon…"_

"Mushroom Fairy!!!!!!!" Gaara shouted.

"_See? Now the reason I'm here is to explain why Crow is back. I brought him back so he can get revenge for his death, but he can only ki__ll one person…and that person will peobably the idiot who torched him in the first room…"_

"Who's the idiot that did that?" Sasuke said laughing. Crow charged after Sasuke who screamed, "Ahhh!! Kiba, shield me!!!!" Sasuke put Kiba in the way and Crow killed Kiba instead, then he disappeared. "…poor Kiba, it's too bad he couldn't make it…" Sasuke said solemnly.

"…_wow Sasuke, I didn't know you were __**that**__ pathetic…anyway, there's a bottle of Mountain Dew in this room. It's was sewed up in someone's stomach, the first 2 syllables of their surname is Uchi, their first name is Sasuke, they have an obsession with scary movies…and for all you know you may be in a genjutsu that he subconsciously activated due to all those scary movies he watched…"_

"That Uchi Sasuke sap is such a loser, completely paranoid from scary movies…why is everybody looking at me like that?" Everyone just glared, "I can't be Uchi Sasuke, I would have a scar on my stomach, which I don't." He lifted up his shirt and there was a huge scar on his stomach. "Uh oh…" Sasuke was attacked and beat up by everyone except the Akatsuki members who just stood there watching the fight with popcorn.

"The Mountain Dew is mine!!!!!" Hinata yelled causing everyone to fall silent and stare in surprise as she took out a kunai and split Sasuke's stomach open and pulled out the bottle of Mountain Dew. The outside surprisingly was completely clean. She opened the bottle and stared inside it, "…there's blood inside it…well, here goes…" She took a small sip, "…why does it taste like Code Red?"

"What? Let me see." Naruto said taking a sip, "…it does taste like Code Red…" Soon everyone was trying it and the bottle was empty. And Sasuke bled to death on the ground but no one seemed to care.

"…_your all idiot, one of you could have survived…"_

"Oh look, I found the remote!" Deidara said waving a remote control in the air. Then he pressed the button to change the channel, the channel changed but they were still the same, "Damn it, the only show is about some ugly guy named Mushroom Fairy…"

"…_your next…" _Akumaru appeared on the screen next to Mushroom_, "What the!? What's this dog dong here!?" _Akumaru ran off scrennand crashes and explosions could be heard. _"What!? No!!!! Damn dog, that's why I'm a cat person…"_

"…uh, what's the next 'game'?" Shikamaru asked.

"_This…" _Mushroom snapped his fingers and the door locked and a bunch of bodies fell from the ceiling along with long ropes of barbed wire. _You have to climb the barbed wire ropes to safety before…"_

"Before what?"

"_You'll see…" _ The TV clicked off and the bodies started moving. The bodies stood up and started moving towards them.

"Holy SHIT!!!!! Zombies!!!!!!!!" Neji shouted. And he ran towards a barbed wire rope. When he got to one a zombie came out of no where, its jaw was ripped off and it's tongue hung out dripping with blood. It's arms were covered in deep bloody gashes admit Neji and started the flesh off his bones.

A few moments later Deidara Shino, and Konkuro were being eaten alive by the zombies while everyone else watched from the upper level. "Wow, using them as a diversion was a great idea Sasori." Kisame said watching the blood fest below them.

A TV behind them clicked on, _"See, I told him he was next…and well, now that Sasuke's gone there's no one to go crazy over scary movies so I'm going to let him take over your mind for a little while okay Itachi?"_

"What?! No!!" Itachi shouted running up to the TV.

"_Too bad." _Mushroom snapped his fingers and Sasuke took over Itachi's mind.

"Huh? What happened? Hey, I'm Itachi! That means if I kill myself I kill him, sweet!!"

"_Uh huh, very nice…but now this chapter's almost over…so we'll continue this in SAW 2…" _Mushroom took off his bandage mask revealing bloody razor sharp fangs.

"…why are you're fangs covered in blood?" Temari asked.

"_What did you think I did with the remnants of your dead friends?" _Mushroom answered with a sinister smile.

**Me: Well? What'd you think? I know it was a it gruesome in some parts but other parts ere still kinda funny weren't they?**

**Gaara: …this is so messed up…**

**Me: Yeah, I know. If it was too graphic for you anyone tell me and I'll tone it down a little bit.**

**Gaara: It was too much or me…**

**Me: Not you…please review!**

**Death Count**** for SAW 1: We started with 23. We ended with 7.**


	12. SAW 2

**Me: I'm sorry for ****not updating for so long and I'm sorry that this chapter won't be as funny.**

**Shikamaru: I'm not even going to argue cause it won't stop the story from happening…Akuma owns nothing…**

**Me: You're no fun.**

All the Naruto characters sat at the table enjoying the nice dinner for the holidays. There was a delicious spread set out on the table and everybody was happy…at least they would have been if that were what that was really doing. But instead they have to play games for their lives against their wills because some psychotic maniac named Mushroom fairy has nothing better to do.

"We've been stuck here for like two fucking months!!! What took so long?! And why the hell was that kind of intro there?! And why wouldn't this stupid thing be better put up on Halloween instead of the holidays!?" Naruto shouted at the TV.

"_The authoress was too lazy to put it up then. Oh well, let's just get to the plot."_

"Whoa, this story actually has a plot?!" Asked Shikamaru.

"_Where were you in the intro for this chapter?"_

"Enjoying the dinner described in it…"

"…_I'm not even gonna ask…"_

"What would have happened if this went up on Halloween anyway?" Asked Sasuke/Itachi.

"_You guys would have been forced to watch Barney and Teletubbies."_

"I've never been so happy to miss Halloween in my life…"

"…_okay that's it! Everyone s__hut up so we can get on with the plot!!!"_

"…someone has issues…" Said Gaara.

"_Says the man who hung his teddy bears when he was a little boy."_

"They were asking for it okay! And I didn't even do it they hung themselves…yeah that's it they hung themselves…"

"…_okay…well the kill count from the last chapter was messed up and now we have one extra person…so we'll just kill off the one with the least amount of character development…Temari."_

"Wait, what?!" Temari began to protest. Then a bullet shot through her head and she fell into a big vat of acid.

"…hey Gaara, now both your brother and sister are dead…" Naruto told Gaara.

"I had a brother and sister?" Gaara asked confused.

"_Uh…Anyway, the next game will be easy, any moron even you guys can get through it. Answer this riddle: what's black, white, and red all over?"_

"…uh Shikamaru, you're the genius, you answer it." Said Naruto.

"…um…is it a uh…a newspaper?" Answered Shikamaru.

"_Nope! Haha, a newspaper, yeah rig__ht. It's a penguin that had its head cut off. Well, I was going to let you all go but since you got it wrong you get to play more games."_

"Nice going Shikamaru, now we're stuck here." Said Sasuke/Itachi.

"Hey, you could have said something."

"I could of, but I didn't…"

"…I'm not even going to start with how retarded that comment was. And why a penguin?"

"_Cause I need to advertise penguin drugs…okay, next game, first I have put you guys to sleep."_

Naruto looked at the TV, "…but why?"

"_It'll be easier to put you into the right rooms."_

"But why?"

"_To do the game."_

"But why?"

"_Cause you need to play for your lives."_

"But why?"

"_Cause I'm a psychopathic moron on crack with nothing better to do."_

"…"

"_Aren't you going to ask why?"_

"No, that actually makes sense…"

"…_shut up…any way, for the next game I'm gonna have to knock you __all out."_ The room started to be filled with knock out gas everyone became unconscious, except for Sasuke/Itachi who was holding his breathe refusing to be knocked out, but then his face turned blue and became passed out anyway.

Sasuke/Itachi woke up in a room with a teddy bear. On the other side of the building Naruto and Hinata woke up in another room. On the top floor, Gaara and Shikamaru woke up in another room. And in the basement Sasori and Kisame woke up. In all four rooms a TV turned on, the screen was split into four parts. On the upper left was mushroom and the other three showed the different rooms each group was placed in. Mushroom started talking, _"So, for the next game I've placed you each into separate room. The other person in that room is your partner for this game…for now. The goal of this game is to get to the center room of the building before anybody else and get the bottle of Mountain Dew before everyone else. But your partner must remain alive…"_

"Partner? But I don't have one." Complained Sasuke/Itachi.

"_Sure you do, your partner is Mr. Bear."_

"Oh…hello Mr. Bear! How are you to day? I'm Sasuke back slash Itachi." The bear didn't respond but Sasuke/Itachi kept talking to it. "Yes, what was that Mr. Bear?" The bear didn't respond but Sasuke/Itachi shouted, "Oh yeah? Well, FUCK YOU MR. BEAR!!!!!!!! YOU DON'T KNOW A FUCKING THING ABOUT ANYTHING!!!!!" Then Sasuke/Itachi pulled out a kunai and shredded Mr. Bear into pieces. Red liquid oozed out of the remains of Mr. Bear.

Everyone just looked at their TVs. "…is the bear bleeding?" Shikamaru asked out loud.

Then Sasuke/Itachi replied, "No, that's just the code red that was inside him. He said it would save us all but I know he was lying, how could a bear know anything like that."

"…Sasuke/Itachi…you're an idiot…"

"…_didn't I just say your partner had to stay alive…" _Mushroom said glaring at Sasuke/Itachi.

"…did you?" Sasuke/Itachi replied.

"…_now you have to go through the punishment…"_

"…do I?"

"_Yes, and now the game is unbalanced."_

"…is it?

"_Are you purposely trying to piss me off or are you that stupid?"_

"…am I? No seriously, am I? I honestly have no clue what I'm doing."

"…_you're a dumb ass…and for your punishment, you're grounded!!"_

"What? Grounded?!"

"_Yes Sasuke/Itachi, grounded. Now you can't play this game with everyone else, so bye-bye till the next game!!" _ Then the TV in Sasuke/Itachi's room turned off and he disappeared from all the other TV screens. _"Now, let the game begin."_ Then the doors to all the other rooms opened. But no one moved because they had no clue which direction the center of the building was.

"Hey Hinata, can you use your Byakugan?" Naruto asked Hinata.

"S-sure Naruto…" Hinata replied. She activated her Byakugan and looked through the building. "Well, it looks like the building is two stories high and has a basement…we're on the ground floor on the far side of the building…so the center room isn't that far…"

"Well, that sounds easy, let's go Hinata!" And Naruto began to make his way to the door.

"Naruto wait!" Hinata shouted distressed. "There are more people than there should be here…but for some reason I can't tell who they are."

"More people than there should be huh? Well, I guess we should be careful, but then we're really close to the center so let's go!" Then Naruto started making his way to the door again.

On the top floor Gaara used his sand eye to look through the building. "We're directly above the room." Gaara said to Shikamaru. "But there's something weird about this place…can people come back from the dead?"

Shikamaru gave Gaara a weird look, "You don't even have to ask to know the answer…" Then the two of them left the room.

In the basement Sasori and Kisame were completely clueless as to where they were. "You go first Sasori." said Kisame.

"Why me?" asked Sasori.

"It's harder for you to die…" Kisame answered.

"…we don't even know where the center is…"

"Sure we do! It's in the center."

"…………………………..well assuming that there are stairs leading up but not any leading down we're in some sort of basement…"

"…or there's only one floor and the stairs lead to the attic or roof…"

"Let's just go up the stairs…" Then Sasori and Kisame made their way upstairs.

Sasuke/Itachi was completely bored out of his mind. The door was locked and there was nothing to do. It really sucked to be grounded; he was lying on the ground. Then Sasuke/Itachi started singing, "…the itsy, bitsy spider went up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Up came the sun and dried up all the rain and the itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again…" He sighed. He got up and walked around. He went to some random part of a wall and kicked it. He kicked the same spot over and over and over again and again and again, until finally the wall broke. There was a dark tunnel and having nothing better to do Sasuke/Itachi went through it.

Back on the other side of the building, Naruto and Hinata made their way to the center room. But the hallways were a maze. As soon as they stepped into the hallways all their charka was drained. "What kind of sick joke is this!" Naruto shouted. Then the two of them slowly made their way through the maze. They kept walking and walking and taking random turns but they couldn't find their way through. Eventually they got back to where they started. And they started all over again. Several hours later when the two of them were back in the original room.

"…evil bastard…must find and kill…" Naruto mumbled.\

"…uh Naruto…" Said Hinata.

"Yeah?"

"…there's a map of the maze taped to your back…"

"What?!" Naruto shouted then he felt his back and tore off a piece of paper. It was a map of the maze. "…a map…of the frickin maze……….."

Meanwhile upstairs Gaara and Shikamaru decided to take the easy way out by drilling through the floor then mushroom came on the TV. _"You can't drill through the floor!"_ He shouted.

"You keep drilling, I'll distract him." Shikamaru said to Gaara. Then he turned to he TV and said, "You're in a box what are you going to do about it?"

"_I'll make sure you won't live for the next game!!"_

"How is that a bad thing? Your games suck, in fact they suck so bad that I'd rather be dead."

"_You bastard! Do you know how long it takes to come up with these pointless games…okay it doesn't take that long, but still! Don't drill through the fucking hole………...I just got a really bad image in my head…"_

"So Mushroom's a pervert…"

"_How does that make me a pervert?!"_

"Only a pervert could get an image from that."

"_Die Nara…die a slow painful death…I swear it…"_

Gaara tapped Shikamaru on the shoulder, "Uh, we have a problem…"

"What? You can't get through all the way?"

"No, I got through."

"Then what's the problem?"

Gaara pointed toward the hole, "That…" And there was a huge snake coming from the hole.

"…_how does anyone squeeze a snake that big through a hole…oh right…heh heh…"_

"…holy fucking shit…" Shikamaru whispered.

"_And that's why I said you shouldn't drill through…"_

"You could've mentioned that earlier…" Gaara said annoyed.

"_I didn't think it was that important."_

"What!? How is that thing not important?!" Shikamaru shouted.

"…_uh…well good luck with the snake bye!!" _And the TV turned off.

Down in the basement Sasori and Kisame went up the stairs. They kept going higher and higher, but there was no end to the stairs. "This is probably a genjutsu." said Sasori. So he tried to deactivate it, but nothing happened. "…what the fuck! This isn't a genjutsu! These stairs are real!!!!!!!!!" Then the two of them started running again. Several hours later the two of them finally made it to the top. Sasori, who was completely out of breath said, "Well at lest we finally made it to the top right Kisame?" He turned around but Kisame wasn't there. "Kisame? Where are you?"

"On your back!" Kisame said chibified. "Thanks for the piggy-back!"

"How long have you been on my back!"

"The entire time we were going up the stairs." Kisame answered getting off of Sasori. "It's a good thing you're a puppet and couldn't feel me on your back otherwise you wouldn't have let me on!"

"I'm gonna kill you!!!"

"Nuh-ah, Mr. Fairy said your partner has to stay alive, so you can't kill me."

"…I hate you…damn fish I swear as son as this is over I'm gonna cut you up and sell you as sushi…and then I'll use the money and buy myself a private island and you won't be invited cause you'll be dead…and you'll be dead cause someone will eat you as sushi…" And Sasori went on and on but Kisame wasn't listening.

"Oh look, a slide!" Kisame said pointing to a slide. "Let's go on!! It'll be lots and lots of fun!!" Kisame started jumping up and down from excitement.

"No, it'll take us right back to where we started. And there's no way I'm climbing all those stairs again."

But Kisame wasn't listening. "Don't worry I'll let you go first!" And before Sasori could argue Kisame pushed him down the slide and Kisame followed.

Sasuke/Itachi walked through the dark tunnel and started to get bored again. But then he saw a light coming from a little hole. When he looked through it he was shocked. "…I see dead people…" The he turned away from the hole and ran screaming into the darkness.

Mushroom sat on the floor reading Icha Icha Violence next to a dim lamp when Sasuke/Itachi ran over him. _"What the fuck was that?!" _He looked around but Sasuke/Itachi was long gone so he just started reading again.

Sasuke/Itachi stopped running when he came into another room. It was brightly lit and had a bottle of Mountain Dew in the center. There was big snake that had its head through the ceiling and a big shiny red button on the wall. "Ooooohhhhhhhh!! Button!!!" Sasuke/Itachi pushed the button and the snake blew up and a door opened on each of the walls. Shikamaru and Gaara fell from the ceiling, Hinata and Naruto fell through one of the doors and a loud whooshing noise and screaming came from another door.

A few moments later Sasori came through the door followed by Kisame. "That was fun!! Let's go again! Let's go again!" Kisame cheered.

"NO!!!!" Sasori said getting up from the ground, "Well, at least we got to the center room…"

"Hey look, it's Sasuke/Itachi!!" Kisame said jumping up and down. "Yay you made it to the party!"

"Yay! Party!" Sasuke/Itachi shouted.

"…why are those two the only one with ADD…and why do they have it so suddenly…" Shikamaru said to no one in particular. "Isn't Naruto usually the one with ADD…"

"Wait, we can't have a party…I saw dead people here…" Sasuke/Itachi said to Kisame. "And they were alive."

"…what?" Everyone said staring at Sasuke/Itachi.

"It was Mr. Bear…but there was more than one of him!"

"Not that stupid bear again." Mumbled Gaara.

"He's not stupid! He was my bestest friend and I loved-ed him!!"

"…but you're the one that killed him…"

"Nuh-ah! It was Mr. Stabby!" Sasuke/Itachi shouted pulling out a kunai.

"…okay…how can you be sure it's the same bear?"

"Cause he told-ed me so."

"………it's official, you're the biggest idiot I have ever known."

"Nah-ah!! Mr. Bear is right there! Along with Sakura, Kakashi, and Lee." Sasuke/Itachi said pointing to the third door. And sure enough Sakura, Kakashi, and Lee came running into the room screaming because Mr. Bear was chasing after them.

"What the fuck…" Sasori said looking at the scene.

"And there's three more Mr. Bears right there…" Sasuke/Itachi said. And no there were four Mr. Bears running around the room wreaking havoc. Several moments and flamethrower blasts later, all the Mr. Bears were dead.

"Look, Mountain Dew!" Shouted Kakashi. He went to get the Mountain Dew but as soon as he touched it another Mr. Bear came from underneath and swallowed the Mountain dew along with his hands. Mr. Bear smiled and showed his razor like teeth and bit off Kakashi's head.

"…I wuv you Sas-uke/It-ac-hi…that is why I am kill-ing an-y-one who will get in your way…" Mr. Bear said with an innocent smile. Everyone just stared at the bear.

Then the TV turned on. _"Mr. Bear! You're ruining the game!"_

"The game is no long-er in your hands…from now on I am the one that will con-twol ev-ry-thing…"

"_But why? I thought we had something special!"_

"You say that now, but you have left in the bot-tom of your clo-set for three years…you re not my friend, but Sas-uke/I-ta-chi is…now you will pay for what you have done…you have no con-trol, but I do…" Mr. Bear smiled again and his eyes glowed red, "I have start-ed my re-venge by burn-ing all your I-cha I-cha Vi-o-lence books and can-cel-ing your _spe-cial _sub-scrip-tion…"

"_What!? You goddamn evil little bear!! I should've burned you a long time ago you hear me!! Burn you!!!"_

"That is the rea-son I am get-ting my re-venge…but first to help my new friend…" Mr. Bear said looking at everyone else. Then he turned to the reader and said, "Make sure you are nice to your ted-dies this com-ing year…"

**Me: Listen to Mr. Bear or you might end up like Mushroom.**

**Shikamaru: …Mr. Bear will haunt my dreams for the rest of my life…**

**Me: No, only when you're asleep…but then that's most of the time so yeah…**

**Shikamaru: ………………………**

**Me: Well, Happy/Merry late whatever holiday you celebrate and have a very not shitty New Year!**

**Death Count for SAW 2: Started with 7(8). Ended with 9.**

**Long live Mr. Bear!!!!!!!!!!**


	13. SAW 3?

Me: Happy Halloween!!

Sasuke: …………couldn't you just save us the grief and stop this stupid fic…

Me: Never…so me no own, and I'd probably say sorry for the late update but that probably won't stop me from updating late next time…

Two dark figures stood talking in a dark room. One had glowing red eyes and sharp teeth and was wearing a witch's hat. He said, "The preparations are ready my lord. Mr. Bear has the subjects in place…"

"Excellent…we will now commence…the plot…"

Now back to the Naruto characters…well the ones left…well Sasuke…Sasuke was skipping in a happy, flowery meadow singing some random song no one gives a fuck about…but for those of you who do, it was the happy happy joy joy song. "Hello Mr. Happy Flower of Happy Happy Joy Joyness, are you happy today?" Being a flower it didn't responde but that didn't stop Sasuke from continuing. "Really?! What a cowinkydink (…coincidence…). I am too!! What's that? You want to know why I'm happy? It's because the world is all happy and full of magical sunshiney goodness that makes everything bright and wonderful just like it's supposed to be!!" Then Mr. Happy Flower of Happy Happy Joy Joyness threw up. And Sasuke Sasuke, in a worried voice, said, "Oh no!! Mr. Happy Flower of Happy Happy Joy Joyness is sickies!!" hen he reached down toward the flower, "Don't worry Sasuke will make yous all betters!!!!" Then he pulled the flower out of the ground and it screamed. Then Susuke continued to skip through the meadow singing another song… Then the sky got all dark and stormy and stuff and evil laughing came from the clouds. Sasuke looked up and saw something and screamed squeezing Mr. Happy Flower of Happy Happy Joy Joyness. Then he woke up…

Now we're really back to the Naruto characters. Sasuke woke up screaming and holding Mr. Bear. He stopped screaming and looked at himself. "Why am I back in my original body?"

"Cause Itachi died during the ten months that this fic hasn't been updated…" Sasuke said answering his own question. Then he looked down and noticed he was holding onto a teddy bear and shouted "ZOMG!!!! Mr. Bear, it's youz!!!" And he started huggling Mr. Bear to death. After several moments of huggling Sasuke looked around and finally noticed where he was…sort of... "Hey, this isn't the happy sunshiney flower meadow, this looks like my basement." …yes they were in Sasuke's basement the entire time…

And everyone else made a wtf-face wile Sasuke continued to huggle Mr. Bear as they all went up the stairs into the main part of Sasuke's house. Then as soon as they got up everyone who was killed in the past couple of chapters popped out and shouted, "SURPRISE!!!!!! Happy birthday Mr. Bear!!"

Sasuke looked at everyone confused and says, "You guys are supposed to be dead!!!" and everyone just started to stare at him. "You guys were killed by Mushroom Fairy's twisted games in the last two chapters!! How are you here and how do you know about Mr. Bear!!!?!" Then he continued ranting about what happened in past chapters as if he were in a fanfic or something…but everyone just thought he was having another breakdown and ignored him.

Then came cake time!! And out of the cake popped out…BUNBUN THE EVIL MARSHMALLOW BUNNY!!!! (From The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy: Underfist…which I don't own…) Bunbun started laughing maniacally and told everyone about his evil plan to take over the world by stealing all the Mountain Dew in the world.

Mr. Bear looked at Bunbun and started to cry. "I thought you guys actually remembered my birthday…" he said sadly.

Bunbun looked at Mr. Bear guiltily, "You didn't say anything."

"I marked it on the calendar!!" Mr. Bear wined.

"You know we never look at the calendar!"

"Well you should! Some friends you are…I threw you a party on your birthday…"

"You spilled hot chocolate on me!!"

"Well at least I did something!!!" and their little conversation continued.

Sasuke looked the two and said, "Does anybody but me think it's weird that a teddy bear and a marshmallow bunny are trying to take over the world…"

"Who cares?" Naruto replied, "As long as they didn't have anything to do with the Code Red drought…I probably jinxed it"

"Mwahahahaha!!! Fools!!" Bunbun shouted, "We did cause the Code Red drought and now we will take all the Mountain Dew in the world!!!!!" The he and Mr. Bear, who still looked sad, climbed onto a random rope ladder that came out of a random hole in the ceiling and attached to a random helicopter. "You can never stop us!! …and we were the ones who took all the Code Red…"

"You fiends!!!" Naruto shouted, "I'll stop you even if I have to sacrifice the lives of my friends to do it!!!" And the helicopter flew away as Bunbun continued laughing. Naruto turned to the others, "Okay, things just got serious."

"…as serious as things can get when a teddy bear and marshmallow bunny are trying to take over the world…" Sasuke added. "Does anybody besides me think that the authoress needs to get off whatever she's on…"

Everyone just stared at Sasuke and Naruto said, "…I think you need to get off of whatever you're on…"

"I did!!" Sasuke shouted. And everyone just stared at him even more. "Why doesn't anyone remember what happened to us in the last two chapters!!"

"What chapters?" Sakura asked.

"The chapters of this stupid fanfic!"

"…what's a fanfic?"

"…………how the hell do you not know!! We've been in thousands of them written by different people and we've been stuck in this one for almost 12 chapters now!!!"

"Will you stop shouting…" Gaara said in an annoyed voice. "Just because you forgot to take your meds today doesn't mean we all have to suffer…"

"I'm off those meds now…" And while everyone kept talking and seemed to forget about Bunbun and Mr. Bear; Bunbun and Mr. Bear started phase 3 of their evil plan.

"Hey Bunbun?" Mr. Bear asked.

"If it's about your birthday I don't want to hear it…" Bunbun replied.

"Don't worry, it isn't. When did we get to phase 3?"

"Well, phase 1 was causing a Code Red drought and phase 2 was kidnapping the Naruto characters and putting them through a series of completely pointless Mountain Dew based games…"

"…Then what's phase 3?"

"…um…don't know…I didn't think we'd get this far…"

"……wanna go trick or treating?"

"Sure…but if anyone's giving out marshmallows, their dead…" And so the two of them went trick or treating, but that didn't last long cause the first house they went to was giving out marshmallows…

Bunbun threw marshmallows back at the people standing in the door. Mr. Bear just stood there watching eating candy left by frightened trick or treaters. Then Naruto and his friends came to the house to trick or treat.

"…it probably would've been a better idea to go to a different village for trick or treating…" Mr. Bear said to himself.

"Oh look!!" Sasuke said looking at Bunbun, "Someone dressed up as the marshmallow bunny we saw earlier today!"

"…………Sasuke…either get off of whatever you're on or get some new meds…" said Naruto.

Sasuke glared, "…for the last time…I DO NOT NEED MEDS!!!"

Bunbun finally stopped throwing marshmallows and realized that the Naruto characters were right in front of him. "Uh oh…" He said, "Quick!! Mr. Bear!! Start phase 4!!!"

Mr. Bear looked dug into his trick or treat basket franticly and pulled out a button. He pushed it and BOOM!! Thunder sounded and red rain started falling from the sky.

"…is rain supposed to be red?" asked Naruto.

"…it's not rain…" answered Sasuke. "……it's blood!!!!" Then Sasuke started to freak out and the little kids who heard him started to freak out and all chaos broke out. Houses were destroyed and candy was thrown around everywhere. As everything began to become even more chaotic Bunbun and Mr. Bear snuck away.

Gaara just stood in the rain, catching it in a bottle. "Gaara!! What the hell are you doing?!" Konkuro shouted at his brother. But Gaara didn't answer; he just turned his head towards his brother giving him a creepy blood lusting smile. Then Konkuro ran and joined the rest of the chaos.

"Wait a minute…" Some random kid said licking his hand, "This isn't blood…" Everyone stopped and tasted the rain. The kid was right…it wasn't rain…it was CODE RED!! Then the chaos ended and everyone started running around catching Code Red in their mouths completely unaware that Mr. Bear and Bunbun had made their escape.

"..so…" Mr. Bear strted to say, "…what was the point of that?"

"…I don't know…" Bunbun answered.

"…we aren't really going anywhere with this whole taking over the world by stealing Mountain Dew thing are we…"

"…nope…"

"How was that supposed to work anyway?"

"I have no clue…"

"………………"

"………………"

"Who came up with that idea anyway…" Asked Mr. Bear.

"…the boss…" answered Bunbun.

"…who's the boss?"

"…it was…"

Back in Konoha, Sasuke shouted out, "ZOMG!!! Exposition!!!"

"…what are you talking about now…" Naruto asked.

"Weren't you reading along?"

"Will you stop talking like we're in a story!?"

"…fine then…I won't tell you how to stop Bunbun and Mr. Bear…"

"……I can live with that…"

Sasuke made a pouty face and noticed that everyone had left, "Where's everyone go?"

"…home…it's almost midnight and no ones giving out anymore candy…"

"…aw…that's no fun…" Sasuke looked up at the sky with a bored look. It was a full moon that night. He saw a little speck in the middle of the moon and it got bigger and bigger then something crashed into his head and he was back in the happy sunshiney flower meadow. He started skipping around again and then he tripped on something. He picked up the thing he tripped on and it was a bottle of Mountain Dew Pitch Black. "ZOMFG!!!!!!! It's the ultimate elixir of deliciousness!!!" Then he ran off into some random direction to hoard his newly found treasure.

Meanwhile Naruto woke up in a daze. The last thing he had remembered was being hit in the head by Sasuke. Something had latched onto Sasuke's head and he started spazzing out and accidentally hit Naruto in the head with one of his flailing arms. Naruto looked around and saw Sasuke sleeping and mumbling something about an ultimate elixir of deliciousness. He took another look around the room but didn't recognize it. So he got up and made his way to the door when Sasuke woke up.

"No!!!!" Sasuke shouted, "They took it!!!!"

"Took what?" Naruto asked, regretting it the moment Sasuke opened his mouth to answer.

"My ultimate elixir of deliciousness!!!" Sasuke shouted. Then a bell started ringing…twelve rings…it's midnight…

"…hey Sasuke, we wouldn't happen to be in your basement again would we?"

Sasuke looked around and shook his head. "…but I can't help but feel that this place is familiar…" Sasuke said to himself. The two of them walked out of the room and ended up in the main entrance of a giant palace. "…whoa, didn't see this coming…" Then the chandelier fell on top of them but it was made out of Styrofoam so it didn't hurt them…Sasuke looked up towards the ceiling where the chandelier had fallen and said, "Naruto we need to get out of here…"

"…I can see that…" Naruto replied. And the two shinobi ran toward the door, but when they touched it they were sent to another room. "What the hell!! Is this a genjutsu!?"

"…no…" Sasuke answered, "…it's a nightmare…"

Me: Damn this was short…

Sasuke: …wtf…this thing actually has a plot!?!

Me: I don't know…

Sasuke: ……………

Me: It depends on whether or not I can figure out where I'm going with this...anyway, sorry about lateness and shortness and extra weirdness but this chapter had its moments. It's 4:34AM and I have school in a few hours and again, Happy Halloween!!


End file.
